


Curious Cats

by DoubleSidedStar



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Coffee, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hate Crimes, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Temporary Amnesia, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleSidedStar/pseuds/DoubleSidedStar
Summary: Kenma and Kuroo were at a Nekoma victory party when truth or dare got a little out of hand. When kenma runs off Kuroo follows him and true feelings are finally spoken out loud. But when a horrible disaster strikes can their love really survive this?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 27





	1. First Kiss

Kuroo POV   
"Kenma get back here!" I chase him out the Back door into the night. He is small and quick but I know I'm faster. All the boys at nekoma were having a celebration sleepover for winning our last few matches. Pizza and too much soda ended us at playing truth or dare. Kenma had been on his games all night so we forced him to join our little circle and play. He didn't want to but hey have a little fun right? Well I didn't know the group was going after us tonight so when it was my turn I picked dare. And the first dare I get all night is "kiss kenma" by now Kenma was a bright shade of pink, something I've never seen before. He started mumbling about that was a dumb dare and this game was a dumb idea, but I wasn't backing down from a dare! So I grabbed his chin and turned him to look at me. One peck on his soft lips and it was over. The boys were mostly quiet, probably impressed I took the dare. But Kenma turned cherry red and bolted. I'm not sure why it's just a game. But everyone turned to me to go get him so I went. "Kenma wait!" I finally lunge out with a long stride and grab his arm spinning him around. Only then did I finally notice tears one his face. "Why are you-?"   
He turned away from me.   
"It was just a dumb dare. You didn't have to actually do it!" He yelled the last part. Was he angry? It was just one kiss I didn't think he would be this mad. I actually didn't think he would be mad much at all. He never shows this kind of emotion.  
"Did you not want me to kiss you? I thought it was okay because it was just a game." He clenched his fists.   
"Just a game..." He mumbled.  
"Hey look Kenma I'm sorry okay let's just go back and play-"  
"Look Kuroo!" Maybe it's just a game to you but..." He spins around to yell at me. "That was my first kiss!" He is bright red again but now also crying. This stopped me in my tracks. To be honest I've never seen Kenma cry like this.  
"Your first kiss?" It was all I could manage to say. He dropped his head down but I saw his shoulders shake. I hadn't even thought about that. It's true I had never seen Kenma date anyone. "I-I had no idea... I didn't mean to take your first kiss...I'm so sorry Kenma." I can't believe I made his first kiss be with a guy. I feel like an ass. "I'm so sorry your first kiss was a guy..." I think I hear him laugh.   
"Kuroo...I thought you knew me." It's true I should know him. We have been friends since elementary school. I was his best friend. His only friend for sometime. I cared about him. A lot.   
"I do know you Kenma." He only shook his head. I knew him...didn't I? "Kenma...were you hiding something?" He doesn't move. I lean down and lift his chin to look at me. "You can tell me anything Kenma. I mean it." He's trying to avoid my eyes I can see it. "Please trust me. I know I upset you tonight but I'm still here for you." I finally catch his gaze and the moment I do fresh tears well in his eyes. He pulls away from me and staring at the ground he finally whispers it.   
"Kuroo, I'm gay..." My mind tumbles for a moment before finally making connections.   
"Gay? That...that's it?" I feel relief. "Kenma you scared me I thought you hurt yourself I thought you were in trouble." He looks up in disbelief.   
"You don't care?" I laugh out loud.   
"Kenma of course I don't care. I'm not homophobic I mean honestly. What did you think?"  
"I thought you would hate me..."  
"And I thought you knew me Kenma. I couldn't hate you. Besides...between you and me..." I quickly glance around. "I'm bisexual." He looks genuinely surprised.   
"You like boys?" I nervously rub the back of my neck.   
"Well you see...I've never been with a boy, your the first boy I kissed actually."   
"I-I am?"   
"Kenma lets go home, we can stay at my house. Forget the party but let's get out of this dark street. Honestly." He hesitates, but finally nods wiping away at tears. As we walk in silence my mind rumbles through the last conversation until screeching to a halt when his hand brushes mine. He quickly pulls away but as he relaxes I brushes my fingers against his. Again he pulls away, only slightly this time. I waited, and soon his hand brushes mine and I brush his back, they circle each others until finally his fingers slip into mine. We said nothing, made no comment to what happened, but inside I was grinning ear to ear.   
He dropped my hand outside my house so I could unlock is. "Mom I'm home early!" I called out. Nothing. We drop our shoes at the door and walk inside. Kenma calls me into the kitchen, holding up a note. Her and Aunt Sizume are on their three day trip across state to visit grandpa Kenka. I had completely forgot. We are home alone now. "Kenma did you eat at the party?"   
"Not really no. I spent most of the time on...oh shit!" Suddenly he was frantic.  
"Kenma what the hell what's wrong?"  
"My portable game, it's still at the party!" I sigh.  
"It will be fine we can pick it up in the morning."  
"Promise? I need that I'm about to beat the game." I laugh, that would be his concern wouldn't it.  
"Promise. Now do you want pepperoni or sausage pizza."   
"Pep." I toss the pizza in and join him at the counter to text the boy from the party to keep an eye on kenmas game.   
I glance at him to notice him already staring at me. He turned pink and looked down.   
"I see the gears turning in there; what are you thinking Kenma?" He mutters something at the floor before pulling out his phone to distract himself. "Oh come on Kenma." I pull his phone away. "Your not usually this quiet around me...I feel like a stranger." He looks up at me finally and blurts out something I wasn't expecting.   
"I uh i was thinking about you and uh about the kiss and I uh it wasn't much of a first uh you know so I thought..." Suddenly he realizes what he is saying and shuts his mouth looking away. "I uh have to use the restroom, excuse me." He hops off the stool to bolt again but I hop off mine as well blocking his path. I feel myself grinning inside.   
"Kenma? Were you thinking about kissing me?" He stutters an attempt at a sassy response.  
"Don't uh, d-don't flatter yours-self." I feel the grin surfacing.   
"So you were huh?"

Kenma POV

I hated to admit it but Kuroo was right. I had never had a kiss before, and kissing him had been a spark of something I've never felt. Not much excited me, I was usually known for being cool headed, quiet, nearly everything bored me. Even volleyball became tiresome until Shouyou came along. Meeting him had given me a small spark, but it was different from this. The feeling with Kuroo was stronger, more sudden, like a volt of electricity. And it was something I wanted to experience again, even if I hated to admit it. Kuroo is my best friend, and I don't want to ruin that for some random fleeting feeling. Kuroo was grinning at me myscheviously. It was a look I had seen time and time again, but never directed at me. It made me fidget, tugging at the ends of my hair.   
"What are you getting nervous for Kenma? I see you fidgeting. Just admit you liked it."  
I was turning bright red I could feel it in my ears.   
"Don't be stupid." I muttered. "Your my friend I don't like you that way. It would be weird." It's true he is my best friend, but the lie was still there. I did like him, I had for years. He stepped toward me and I nervously stepped back.   
"You can't say that you aren't the least bit curious. You are the curious cat of the team." Another step forward, I take another step back. I'm starting to get nervous, something I never used to be around him.   
"Kuroo stop it I told you I'm not." He went to step again when the pizza dinged. He looked over and there was a change in his eyes. He looks back at me and saw the worry in my eyes.   
"S-sorry." He walks away getting the pizza out of the oven.  
When the pizza was cool we took slices up to his bedroom to play on his PlayStation. As usual. The only difference was the awkward silence that pressed on the air.   
I was curled up on the edge of his bed, beating him mercilessly in call of duty. Usually we would both be sprawled across the bed and laughing, but everything was quiet except the guns blazing in the game. After dying for the umptenth time in a row kuroo pauses the game and sets down his controller.  
"Kenma listen..." I pick up my phone quickly trying to distract myself from looking at him. I had never been nervous around kuroo before, but then again I had never seen him act like that before. He turns in the bed to face me. "Kenma come on look at me. Please?" I sigh and put my phone down looking up into his eyes. He seemed deeply concerned. I look away.   
"Okay I get it. I know I was way out of line, I do. I don't know what got ahold of me I wasn't thinking-"  
"You were right." I mutter.  
"I know I'm really sorry I didn't mean to- wait...what?"  
"I said you were right."

Kuroo Pov  
I saw his face turning bright pink and he picks up his phone again to hide behind.   
"I was...right? What do you mean?" His ears were burning red now, it was kinda cute. He mutters something I can't hear and then burries his face in the blankets. "Wait, wait what I couldn't hear you." He talks into the blankets again muffling his voice. "Kenmaaaaaa." He reluctantly flips over and stares up at me from laying down.  
"I said I like you you stupid cat."


	2. Morning Coffee

Kenma POV

I woke up in kuroos bed early the next morning. I blinked in the early morning sun and saw kuroo laying behind me, curled around me. I blushed deeply remembering last night. After I confessed liking him he freaked out, so I burried myself in blankets and killed him in COD. Each round we played I scooted a bit closer, until I was playing against him, while sitting in his lap, still a burrito of blankets. He didn't say much, for my sake, but I knew he was happy. And admittedly I was too. I shuffled out of the bed and heard him moan in disagreement and roll over. I slipped my jacket back on, grabbed my dead phone and headed home in the chilly morning air.

9:37 am

Kuroo: Kenmaaaaa

Kuroo: where are youuuu

Kuroo: why did you leave me ;-;

10 minutes later

Kenma: hi

Kuroo: hey! Where did you go??

Kenma: home?

Kuroo: whyyyy

Kenma: I needed to change

Kuroo: I have clothes here you know

Kenma: your too tall

Kuroo: that would be cute ;)

Kenma: I swear to god Kuroo

Kuroo: wanna go get breakfast?

Kenma: will it involve cofffee?

Kuroo: duh

Kenma: be there in 10

In just over 10 minutes I was outside kuroos house and rang the bell. I was in a pair of baggy joggers and a volleyball tee. My long hair was tied back in a loose pony tail because I was just to lazy to do anything else. It's how I often wore it on the weekends, but never to school. I always wore it down when around people I knew. Usually even including Kuroo, except for the few times I got lazy, and his reaction always made me put it down. I sighed but decided to give it a shot. It was comfortable. Kuroo finally showed up at the door and glanced at my hair smiling.   
"Cute hair." He said closing the door behind him. I reached up to take it out before he said anything else but he stopped me. "Leave it up. I like it." I shrug and leave it as it is and we leave for the shop. Half way to our nearby coffee shop Kuroo finally speaks up. "About the party last night."  
"Don't."  
"You wanna hear this." I looked up at him confused. What could be important? "Kenma before you came over I called oikawa, he hosted the party. I was trying to get your game back." I stopped walking and turned to face him.   
"Did you?? " he shook his head.   
"I don't think you'll be getting it back." My eyes went wide.   
"They broke my system?" I felt my eyes well up. I wasn't going to cry over something like this. But I sure wanted to. I was pissed. I was seeing red, seething and on the verge of tears.   
" I'm really sorry Kenma, I tried. We can go get it if you would like to." I took a deep breath and nodded. I needed to calm down. It's just a system. Just a game. Just a handheld distraction. Once we got inside I slid myself into a corner booth and pulled out my phone while kuroo ordered.

10:17

Kenma: hey shouyou

Hinata: morning Kenma!

Kenma: sup

Hinata: just woke up, kags is still asleep

Kenma: did he spend the night?

Hinata: yeah he is so cute sleeping. What are you doing?

Kenma: getting coffee with Kuroo

Hinata: ooohhhhhh ;))

Kenma: what's that supposed to mean?

Hinata: noooothing

Kenma: -_-

Kuroo sits down on the bench across from me and hands me a large steaming hot French Vanilla coffee. My favorite, and he knows exactly how I like it. I take a small sip. It's hot as hell going down my throat, my favorite feeling.   
"Who are you texting?"   
"Shouyou."  
"Ah, I heard him and tobio had a date last night."   
"Yeah he slept over." Kuroo sips his hot chocolate with a shot of espresso. He never really liked the taste of coffee, caffeinated hot coco was as close as he got. It was still early fall, so it wasn't cold yet but chilly enough that the heated drinks were welcomed.   
"Who would have thought hinata and tobio would ever date. Do you remember when we first played them how much they fought?" I nodded. Of course I did. They were two amazing players who needed each other as much as they hated each other. Kuroo sets down his drink.   
"Hey Kenma?" I look up from my cup.  
"Yeah?"  
"What do you think about us going on a date?"


	3. Group Chat

"A-a date?" I look at him with wide eyes.   
"Yeah, kinda like this just...with a label." I look down at my swirling coffee. I tried to imagine what a date with Kuroo would be like. Could we get coffee and play video games? But that's a normal day with us so would it really be a date? Would we have to go to a restaurant? But that doesn't sound like fun at all. As I'm trying to figure it out a waitress walks over. Two sets of pancakes are set on our table. She smiles at Kuroo. She's a busty girl, obviously into herself, hair and makeup well done. I suddenly felt a dislike for her. She's eyeing up Kuroo and gives him a grin.   
"Anything else I can get you cutie?" Wow is she blunt. It irritates me but I can't explain why.   
"No thank you." Kuroo smiles kindly. Not taking the hint she leans on the table towards him.   
"Well maybe I can get something?" She says quietly. It's as if I'm not even there.   
"I've got nothing for you." He says a bit more sternly. I huff and he looks at me apologetically. She stands up straight and pouts at him.   
"Not even a number? You won't regret it I promise." He scowls at her, finally irritated.   
"Actually sweet heart your not my type, and you are currently ruining breakfast with my boyfriend. So if you would so kindly fuck off it would be great." My breath catches in my throat and I almost spit out the coffee I just sipped. Did he just call me his boyfriend?? My face turns bright red, but that's nothing compared to the waitress. She's staring at him as if he just told her he kicks puppies in his free time. I choke down my coffee and cover my mouth to stop from laughing.   
"Y-your gay?? But your so hot! What a waste!" He glares at her and she turns to me. "Faggots." She spits the word out like it's venom and finally storms away.   
"Kenma I'm so sorry-" but before he finishes I cut him off.  
"Boyfriend?!" Kuroo laughs at my cherry red face.   
"Oh yeah sorry, I just really wanted to get her to leave it seemed the best way to do that."  
"You can't just say that kind of stuff!" I mutter, blushing furiously. He grins.  
"Well 'boyfriend'," he winks. "How about that date?"

3:15

Kenma: shouyou help

Hinata: what happened??

Kenma: I'm dying

Hinata: what why?!? Where are you??

Kenma: home

Hinata: so what happened? Do you need help?

Kenma: yes it's kuroos fault

Hinata: what did he do??

Kenma: don't want to say it

Hinata: NO FAIR TELL ME

Kenma: ask bokuto I bet he knows already

HOOT has been added by Hinata

HOOT: HEY HEY HEY

Kenma: I didn't mean add him

HOOT: hey there kenmaaa ;)))

Hinata: bokuto why is Kenma dying??

HOOT: oh ho ho he hasn't told you??

Kenma: -.-

Hinata: TELL ME

HOOT: Kenma and Kuroo have a date this weekend!

Hinata: woahhhh really??

HOOT: isn't it AWESOME I SHIP IT

Hinata: what's that??

Kenma: Bokuto no

HOOT: OH HO HO Kenma is so embarrassed

Kenma: I will kick you out

HOOT: so mean :((

Hinata: I want to know!!

SetterLife has been added by Hinata

Hinata: HI KAGEYAMA

SetterLife: why am I here

Hinata: what does shipping mean??

HOOT: HEY HEY HEY TOBIO

SetterLife: stop calling me that

Hinata: I WANT TO KNOW WHY BOKUTO SHIPS KENMA WITH KUROO

SetterLife: dumbass!

Kenma: what's with the weird usernames?

HOOT: it's fun!

SetterLife: bokuto why are we talking about shipping?

HOOT: Kenma got a date with Kuroo!

SetterLife: Nice nice

HOOT: do you ship it??

SetterLife: I call it KenKuroo

HOOT: YESSS

Hinata: wait so like is shipping mean you want them to date?

SetterLife: yes dumbass!

Kenma: IM STILL HERE YOU KNOW

SetterLife: oops lol have fun on your date!

HOOT: Do you need condoms? ;))

Kenma has left the group chat

Hinata: YOU SCARED HIM AWAY

HOOT: XD this is great

Setterlife: I'm out of this chat now

SetterLife has left the group chat

HOOT: Tell Kenma good luck for me!!

HOOT has left the group chat

Hinata: everyone left me ;-;

Hinata has ended the group chat

After leaving the group I turn my screen off and set my phone down on the bed. I stare at the ceiling of my bedroom. Tomorrow is Friday. Saturday is my date with Kuroo. But we have volleyball practice at the gym tomorrow. We have off school this week but that doesn't mean we don't have practice. I was nervous that by tomorrow the whole team would know of our date. I sigh. I needed to text Kuroo about this, I was so nervous, and I didn't know why. But what would I say to him? Hey Kuroo would you mind keeping out date a secret I'm embarrassed of going on a date with you. That just sounds cold. No one knows I'm gay , although some of the team had their suspicions. Would he really tell everyone?? If he didn't Bokuto might start texting people himself. Apparently he "shipped" us. My stomach flipped. Why did thinking about this make me feel so weird? I sigh and pick up my phone reluctantly.

3:53

Kenma: kuroo?

5 minutes later

Kuroo: hey kitten ;)

I shiver at the nickname. Kitten. His kitten? I love it and yet it scares me. My heart pounds in my chest.

Kenma: can we talk?

Kuroo: something wrong?

Kenma: everything.


	4. Early Morning Horror

1:17 am

Kenma: no way you actually punched your teacher in 5th grade?

Kuroo: seriously!!! It was so funny XD

Kenma: wish I was there to see that

Kuroo: I'll do it again!

Kenma: you'll be expelled!

Kuroo: worth it!

Kenma: XD

Kuroo: it's getting late

Kenma: is it?

Kuroo: past 1 am

Kenma: oh shit we talked all night??

Kuroo: I guess so

Kuroo: do you feel any better?

Kenma: I guess I do

Kuroo: is the date still on then?

Kenma: I guess so

Kuroo: I'll see you in volleyball tomarrow then

Kenma: yes

Kuroo: sleep well kitten

Kenma: you too

10 minutes later

Kuroo: I love you kitten, I sure hope your asleep. I had to say it.

The problem that night, was that I was very much not asleep. I could not sleep. And I saw that message at 1:30 in the morning that made my heart backflip. I clutched my phone to my chest and smiled like a retard at my ceiling. We had talked all night long, and even though it wasn't really about anything in particular, we talked about everything under the moon. By the time we finally said good night I had forgotten why I was nervous in the first place. And that one message made all the nervous fluttering in my stomach rush back. Why did I feel like this?? Why did the thought of him make my breath catch, make my heart flip and make my stomach tie into knots? Stupid teenage feelings. Eventually I drifted into sleep and my perfect dream played like a movie in my head, and it was starring Kuroo.

I woke up to noises coming from downstairs. In a flash I was sitting up in bed and straining to hear. I heard it again, like someone rummaging around downstairs. My heart dropped into my stomach. Someone was in my house, and I had to go find out who. And all I was wearing was an oversized night shirt. I quickly pulled out my phone.

4:12 am

Kenma: Kuroo

Kenma: someone is in my house wake up

Kenma: help me I'm scared

Kenma: Kuroo please

Kenma: please wake up

I got up and tiptoe over to lock my bedroom door when I hear heavy footsteps down stairs. I feel my heart beat in my throat and run over to my closet. I close myself into the small dark closet and sink to the floor. The heavy footsteps are ascending the stairs. I clap my hand over my mouth and clutch my phone. I shut my eyes letting a few tears leak out. Was this going to be my end?

Kuroo POV

I stir awake and shiver. My blankets had been kicked off in my restless sleep, and I woke up because I was ice cold. I reached over and dragged my blanket off the ground and back onto me. On the floor where the blanket was, I noticed my phone. I grabbed it and turned on the screen. 5:14 in the morning, and I had nearly 20 messages from Kenma. My chest constricted. He never spammed anyone, even me. This was something I've never seen. I unlocked my phone, and with each message I read my heart dropped lower into my stomach.  
4:12  
Kenma:Help me

Kenma:Someone is in my house wake up

Kenma:Help me I'm scared

Kenma: Kuroo please

Kenma: please wake up

Kenma:I'm alone

Kenma:He's coming

Kenma: He is upstairs

Kenma: I locked my room

Kenma: he's trying to come in

Kenma: omg I'm begging you

Kenma: wake up he's banging on my door

Kenma:Call the cops he will hear me

Kenma:Kuroo helpbwosnfjzakem

I called him but it went straight to voice mail. I called again and again, but it was all the same. Finally I dialed a new number.   
9-1-1  
Within 5 minutes I had sprinted to Kenna's, and the police had agreed to send someone. The front door was open on its hinges. I rushed in with no regard to if who ever might still be there.   
"KENMA WHERE ARE YOU?" The lights were out and the sun had yet to rise. Long dark shadows creep along the walls as I take the stairs 2 at a time. "KENMA!" I look around the hall and see a door kicked in. kenma's bedroom. Suddenly I wished I brought a gun, a knife, anything to fight with. Instead I clench my fists and walk towards the room as confidently as I can. I stand in the door way shocked in horror. The room was trashed, papers and ripped books and broken discs shatter the room. In the middle of all the wreckage, in nothing more than a thin oversized t-shirt, is Kenma.


	5. Hospital Trip

I'm kneeling beside Kenma before I can process what's going on. A red stain is quickly spreading across the t-shirts front.   
"Kenma can you hear me??" I lean in inches from his face and hold my breath. Seconds pass...when finally I feel his warm breath tickle my cheek. "Oh thank god..." I look around. The room is in shambles. Papers scattered everywhere, broken cds and games and glass is everywhere. Books thrown off the shelves and torn out pages flutter in the wind from the broken window. Kenmas phone lays in pieces outside the closet door. I take a deep breath. I have to see why he is bleeding. I gently lift his shirt careful not to touch his skin. Past his boxers, above his stomach, the shirt seems stuck to his chest with blood. I cringe as I peel the fabric away from his skin. My breath catches in my throat. Jagged lines cross his chest, the source of the blood. They form a pattern, a word that whoever did this assured would scar him forever.  
FAG  
I hear sirens approaching and slip his shirt off fully so the fabric wouldn't stick again. In only his boxers, pale white, he looked too fragile, too small. It terrified me. I slipped my arms under his legs and back and pull him to my chest. He makes no movements or noise of protest. He is so still and quiet, it chills me.   
"It's okay. It will be fine. You'll be okay." I whisper to him, more to sooth myself than him. With Kenma in my arms I race back down the steps and out the front door. An ambulance and two top cars are pulling up outside. I cop jumps out with a gun.  
"Put the boy down sir!"   
"Wait wait!" I scream freezing on the sidewalk. "My name is Kuroo Tetsuro I'm the one who called you! I found him upstairs please he's bleeding!" With the cop still aiming at me two EMTs run over. They try to take him from my arms but I hesitate.   
"I'm coming with him." I try to sound stern but my voice shakes. One of the EMTs, a strong looking woman with tightly tied back brown hair, lays her hand on my shoulder.   
"You can come. But you have to do everything we say. Got it?" I don't trust my voice, so I nod. Although her partner looks annoyed, he turns jogging to the ambulance. We follow him, with me holding Kenma as tight to my chest as I can. The male partner has pulled open the doors and pulled out a portable bed. I lay Kenma on it, and look away, my fists clenched. The EMTs transferred Kenma into the back, and the woman reaches out her hand, helping me into the back. As the ride begins I squat next to kenmas back, clutching his hand in mine. Random words float through the air, but I only catch a few. My mind is too jumbled to listen.  
"Losing blood"  
"Unconscious"  
"Head injury"  
"Rape"  
Suddenly my blood goes cold and I stand up abruptly, startling the EMT.  
"What did you just say?!" I can feel myself shaking.   
"Rape check sir. It's only a possiblity but with hate crimes like this it's always best to check."   
Rape. It was a concept I couldn't even comprehend. Kenma. He was so quiet, so kind, so shy. Who would do something like this? Why? Hate is something I will never understand.   
At the hospital Kenma was taken from me. I was taken to a waiting room where I got strange stares from a passing nurse or doctor. I didn't understand why until a nurse offered me a thin blanket. I looked down. I was was barefoot in only pajama pants and a thin t-shirt, covered in blood. I took the blanket wrapping myself in it. I meant to say thank you, but I could only nod. The waiting room was nearly empty as it was just approaching 6 am. A kid with the flu here, a woman in labor there. Otherwise it was quiet. I curled up on a couch, shaking, waiting for someone, anyone to tell me he was okay. Until then, I had to wait.   
6:17 am  
Kuroo: bokuto I need to talk

HOOT: getting nervous for your date tomarrow? ;)

Kuroo: kenmas in the hospital

HOOT: wait what? Seriously?

Kuroo: I found him in his room this morning. He was attacked

HOOT: no way

Kuroo: please don't tell anyone

Kuroo: I'm so fucking scared

HOOT: how bad was it?

Kuroo: I don't know yet

Kuroo: can you tell the team we won't be in practice today but not why

HOOT: yeah bro, of course

Kuroo: it was so bad

HOOT: did you see it?

Kuroo: there was so much blood bro

HOOT: god damn...

Kuroo: I'll keep you updated

HOOT: I'll have my phone on all day if you need me

Kuroo: thanks bro

HOOT: anytime

I looked locked my screen and sighed looking up. A doctor was headed my way.   
"Kuroo Tetsuro?" I nod standing up.   
"I'm the doctor in care of Kenma."  
"Is he okay??" It was the only question I could ask. It's all I could think about.   
"It's more complicated than that I'm afraid. But he is alive and breathing on his own. That's a good start." I sit down onto the couch, my head in my hand. The doctor sits on the coffee table across from me and places a comforting hand on my arm.   
"The cuts on his chest are deep, but none of them are infected. Sadly they will scar though. We found bits of glass in the cuts but were able to remove them. Nothing life threatening." I sigh in relief.   
"The next problem was a head wound. It looked like a blunt object or boot. He received 3 stitches on the left side of his head. Other than that it's just bruising. As for internal damage, we will be doing an MRI tomorrow, and on the cops request there will be a rape check tomorrow. So for tonight, we are done." I took a deep breath trying to process this information. Finally in a shaky voice, "can I see him?" The doctor smiles.   
"I thought you would ask. Yes, you can see him, but the police need to ask a few questions before that. Are you able to do that. He glances over by the door where 2 of the police at the scene stood looking around. I nod quietly and he pats my arm as he stands up to go get the police.   
The interrogation goes smoothly. I show them the messages I received and I was dropped as a suspect. Within 15 minutes I was approved to go see Kenma. I walk down the sterile halls beside a nurse, silent besides the tapping of our shoes.   
"This one." Her voice is quiet and polite as she points to the room, and walks off. My hand on the door knob I take a deep breath, and open the door.


	6. Head Rush

A few moments passed before I could take in the scene. Kenma was asleep on the bed, peaceful looking if not for the setting. Monitors beeped around him, recording heart rate and oxygen. An IV is an his left arm on a drip, and a bandage wraps around his head. Another thicker bandage wraps his chest concealing the cuts. The blanket lays at his waist exposing his stomach. He is thin and pale, but there are noticeable abs forming under the surface after practicing volleyball for so long. The muscle was only evident by a line down the middle and the muscles girls tend to call "The V". Those muscle that leads below guys waistline. Regardless of the subtle muscle tone, he looks small and breakable in this state. Like a small child. I hesitate before approaching the bed silently. He lays there like a porcelain doll, so fragile that if I spoke too loud he would shatter. I'm afraid to wake him and cause him to feel the pain. He is better off like this. I know that. Yet I take his hand in mine gently, hanging my head.  
"Kenma," I whisper. "I'm so sorry..." I feel him squeeze my hand gently and snap my head up. His eyelids flutter open, looking up weakly.   
"You're here..." his voice is almost inaudible.   
"Of course I'm here...Kenma I'm sorry I wasn't there in time." I brush the hair from his face.   
"But your here now," he whispers, reaching up and taking my hand again.   
"I am I'm here and I'm not going any where I promise." I sit in the chair next to his bed as close as I can pull the chair.   
"What happened Kenma? Who would do this?" He looks away. I feel him retreating inside himself and I worry I upset him. I quickly switch topics. "How is your head?"   
"It hurts." He instinctively reaches up to touch his hair. I brush away the top layer of hair to reveal the bandage and suddenly make a connection. The put stitches there which means- "they shaved my hair..." I'm shocked but quickly recover.   
"It's not bad. It's only a little area around the cut, and you can cover it up too."   
"Are you lying?" His voice is flat, looking for answers not condolences. I lean back looking him in the eyes.   
"It does not look bad. I'm not lying." He holds my gaze for a moment before nodding. I run my fingers through his hair habitually. He looks up at me locking eyes. He looks so small. "Are you scared Kenma?" He looks away, chewing on his lip.   
"I hate hospitals..." I nod, already knowing that.   
"We won't be here long don't worry. I'll stay here with you." My mind plays over the events and the upcoming tests tomorrow.   
"My chest hurts." He runs his hand across the bandages wrapped around him. "Why does it burn?"   
"You got cut." I remember the words carved into his skin.   
"It hurts." I feel him squeeze my hand as he grimaces.   
"I know I'm sorry, they will scar and-"  
"No my head."  
"Your head?" He squeezes his eyes shut in response, clutching my head. "Should- uh should I get someone? A doctor or a nurse?" The worry in my voice is evident and I know it. He nods and suddenly I'm frantic. Something's actually wrong. He drops my hand to clutch the side of his head, his other arm still in the IV. I look around for some kind of call button, finally spotting the red one above his bed. It seems a bit much for his head hurting, but with stitches in his head I'm not risking anything. I smack the button before leaning back over Kenma. "Hey, hey listen to me. Your gunna be fine it's just a headache from the stress I'm sure." I'm reassuring myself more so than him I'm sure, but he relaxes in the bed a bit. A doctor rushed in just then and I snap up.   
"What's going on?"   
"It's his head it just started hurting-" Kenma cries out and I turn to him. He is clutching his head with both hands, now sitting up hunched over. "Kenma!" A nurse joins us and the doctor orders 6 ML of morphing and a CT scan immediately. She plunges a liquid into his UV before rushing out the room. Within the first minute Kenma begins relaxing. He lays back down.   
"Kuroo..." his eye lids flutter and he reaches up brushing my cheek. "I'm sorry I caused trouble..." I cup his hand to my cheek with mine.   
"You didn't. You did nothing wrong, this isn't your fault your the victim." He smiles weakly, the morphine kicking in.  
"Hey kurooooo..." his voice is slurred and his smile is sloppy. "Did I ever tell you, that I love you?" My breath catches.  
"W-what?" But the morphine has taken hold and pulled him too deep to speak. As his eye lids close I find my voice.   
"I love you too."   
That's when the nurse rushes in, separating us and taking him away. The doctor ushers me back to a waiting room alone. I'm frozen to the spot, I can't process this.

7:03 am

Kuroo: It got worse. Something is wrong

Kuroo: I know you guys have school today but if just a few...

Kuroo: bokuto I can't do this alone

Kuroo: I'm scared. I never been scared like this.

HOOT: I'll be there in ten with a few friends. Hang in there.

Kuroo: I'm sorry

HOOT: don't be bro, I've always got you.

Kuroo: thank you

HOOT: see you in 10


	7. The Unexpected

I wake slowly, groaning as I open my eyes. Momentarily I panic, unaware of my surroundings, until I recognize the pale blue carpet of the waiting room. I fell asleep. I glance around to see Bokuto, Akashi, and Hinata staggered around the room. Akashi is talking quietly to a nurse, Bokuto is pacing, and Hinata is talking avidly to a young boy waiting alone. I sit up slowly and Bokuto stops his pacing to walk over to me.   
"Your awake," he breathes with a smile. Akashi glances over flashing me a small smile before resuming his conversation with the nurse.   
"What time is it?" I glance around for a clock.  
"It's around 8am, we got here around 7:30, the snow kept us."  
"Snow?" He nods.  
"It started around 6 am it's been snowing like crazy all morning." I rubbed my head, trying to flatten my bed head with no luck.   
"I had no idea I'm sorry I made you guys come in that."  
"It's fine, Akashi borrowed his moms car."   
"How is Kenma?" He nods in Akashi's direction.  
"He is trying to find out now." I nod sitting back in the bench, pulling in my knees to my chest. I was still trying to wake up and my mind was wheeling. Bokuto sits next to me and puts his hand on my knee. I look over to him. "Are you doing okay?" I can see the concern in his eyes. I'm suddenly aware of how terrible I look. My hair is a mess, I'm sure I have dark bags under my eyes. I still have blood on my shirt, I'm shoeless. I shudder, shaking my head no. He looks up as Hinata skips over.  
"Kuroo-san! Your awake!" I nearly flinch at his loud voice. "Akashi-san and I ran home before we came, we brought some clothes for you." I look over at Bokuto and he nods.   
"Go change, we will wait here." I nod and Hinata tosses me a pack. I stand and he hugs me quickly. He looks up at me, being a few inches shorter than I am.   
"It'll be okay Kuroo-san." He flashes me a big grin. I smile back before heading to the bathroom. Lucky, hospitals have single person bathrooms. I lock myself into one and turn to the mirror. I look worse than I thought. I look drained. The fear and stress showed on my face. I smooth my hair back, but it is still a mess. I naturally have bed head, but this is a new level of disheveled. I quickly change into a clean gray long sleeve and Slytherin sweatpants. I sit on the closed toilet to slip on clean socks and the slip on shoes they brought. The old dirty clothes I shove back into the bag. Back at the mirror I splash cold water from the sink on my face, trying to wake up. Oh if only I could wake up again. Wake up this morning, text Kenma to come over, have coffee together and play video games together before school. Gone on some dumb date after school to a cafe or something cheesy. I wish it had been a normal boring average day. But here I am in a hospital bathroom at 7am wondering if Kenma is okay. Why me? Why my life? Why the people I love? I just as I hear a knock. I grab my bag and open the door to Akashi.   
"The nurse needs you."  
I meet with the nurse alone outside the waiting room.  
" well can you tell me what it is yet?" She shakes her head.  
"Not yet but it's one of two things. A contusion or a hemorrhage."   
"What, what is that I don't know what those are?"  
"Contusions are bruises on the brain, not quite as serious, where as a hemorrhage is bleeding on the brain, which is the worst case scenario." I lean back on the wall. Damage to his brain. A bruise or even bleeding? Worse case scenario what? He loses his memories? Dies?  
"What's going to happen to him?"   
"We won't know until the results are in.   
You'll just have to wait."   
"Can I see him at least?"   
"He is still a bit tired from the morphine, but I suppose it would be okay."  
"What about the others?"  
"Only 2 of you at a time." I sigh and nod before thanking her and heading into the waiting room. The boys surround me, Hinata the one to speak.  
"Well? well? Is he okay? Can we see him?" He is practically bouncing, I can't handle that much excitement right now.  
"Only one of you can come with me and I love all of you guys really but..."  
"You need your best friend right now," Akashi finishes for me, looking at Bokuto. Bokuto glances at Hinata, who stops bouncing long enough to nod at him.   
"Thank you guys..." I whisper as I am enveloped in hugs from all three, "Thank you..."  
Me and Bokuto are silently led back to the room. The doctor already warned us to keep a calm, quiet, stress free environment. Bokuto is usually quite loud and excitable, but here he seems subdued. We enter the room slowly and I have to take in the environment all over. The broken figure laying in the bed looks nothing like the Kenma I know. He looks so small. I walk back over, sitting by his bed while Bokuto hangs by the door. Kenmas head rolls over to face me and a tired smile crosses his lips.   
"Kuroo.." His hand reaches up tentatively and brushes my cheek. I still feel his quiet anxiety in the lightness of his touch, but the morphine has relaxed him. The words he said before he was taken, I wonder if he will remember them, I wonder if he met them. My head buzzes, but I force it down. I cover his hand in my cheek with my own.   
"Hey Kenma, how are you feeling?"  
"I'm finneeeee... I missed you," his words are sloppy but I feel a truth in them. A knock sounds and I turn around. Bokuto is speaking to a nurse and turns to nod at me before walking out with her. I turn back to Kenma to see him sitting up.  
"Hey hey you need to lay down." I put my hands on his shoulders to lay him down but he puts his hands up, running them through my hair. He pulls me in, laying my forehead against his own.   
"Kuroo..." suddenly I hear less of the morphine in his voice, and more of a serious voice, and it scares me. "I almost died, didn't I?" I nod, my forehead still rested on his. "Am I going to be okay?" I hear fear in his words, a raspiness added to his already quiet voice.  
"I hope so," I whisper, closing my eyes to block out tears. I feel his shift when suddenly I freeze. Today was full of surprises.  
I never expected him to spam my phone.  
I never expected to find him attacked.  
I never expected him to have a brain injury.  
And now if all things, I never expected to feel his lips press against mine.  
And who could have ever expected that I would kiss back.


	8. Reminisce

"K-Kenma?" I stutter. He blushes, laying back as the door opens and Bokuto walks back in. I look between the two and shake my head.   
"So what did the nurse say Bokuto?" He looks worriedly at Kenma.   
"You can say it..." Kenma says quietly.   
"It...well it's not good." I grab Kenmas hand tightly.   
"We have to test for memory loss. It's a serious concussion but, there is no blood." I audibly release the breath I was holding. Kenma squeezes my hand and smiles at me, before turning to Bokuto.   
"Memory loss? Wouldn't I know?"   
"Not if you haven't thought about the right things." We all look as the doctors voice steps into the room. Kenmas face scrunched up in thought. The doctor looks at me and then Kenma. "May I ask some questions?" Kenma nods and the doctor takes a seat.  
"Name?"  
"Kozume Kenma"  
"Age?"  
"17"  
"Birthdate?"  
"October 16th."  
"Well you know your basic information, can you name the two boys in the room with you?"  
"Yeah, Bokuto Koutarou and Kuroo Tetsurou."   
"When did you meet them?"   
"Well it was in...I mean...wait...oh my god I don't know..." he looks at me with terror in his eyes. I don't even know what to say.   
"Kenma come on we were kids." He looks frantically at the doctor.   
"I have no idea when we met or or how... why would I forget something like that?"  
The doctor shakes his head.  
"We don't know yet Kenma but we will find out. Do you remember anything about meeting him? What grade it was, how old you were, where it was? Maybe how long you two have been friends?" Kenma is shaking his head and tearing up.  
"No, no I don't remember I have no idea, he's just there he's always been there. I remember having high school classes with him, and he was there in middle school and then...I have no idea I'm so sorry..."  
I stand up. "Okay doc that's enough let him rest please." He also stands and nods patting kenmas shoulder, who flinches slightly at the touch.   
"We will figure this out," he says confidently before exiting the room. Bokuto, usually the optimist looks stunned. Kenma looks over at me eyes wide and whispers.  
"Why can't I remember?" He looks so small, so scared of himself, of the world. I squeeze his hand.   
"It's okay you will remember I promise. It can't be permanent." I try to believe my own words even as I feel dread setting in. Kenma lets go of my hand and rolls to his side facing away from me.  
"Kenma..."  
"Please...I-I need time to sleep. I need to think."  
"Are you sure you want me to go?" I could see tears welling up in his eyes. I was the only one who had seen Kenma cry before. I knew I needed to go before he even nodded. I gently run my fingers through his hair avoiding the bandages and turn. Bokuto holds open the door for me as we leave the room, and as I step out I hear the quietest of sobs, and feel my heart crack.

Back in the wait room Hinata bounds up to us.   
"Well? How is he?? Is he okay? How bad is he hurt? Who did this to him? And why? Can I talk to him? Will he still be able to play? What if he can't?" Akaashi places a hand on his shoulder and he instantly quiets down still looking at me expectantly.  
"Well uh...he is awake, he is trying to rest right now. And uh..." I desperately look over to Bokuto who takes over.  
"He's got some cuts on his chest and some bruises. The worst of it is a cut on his head that needed stitches, which caused a severe concussion."  
"A concussion? I've had some of those how bad can it be that means he's fine!" Hinata is bouncing again.  
"Hinata..." Bokuto says slowly, "Kenma has some memory loss." He freezes and even Akaashi stiffens a bit.  
"How bad?" Akaashis voice is laced with concern.  
"Childhood memories, just before middle school and back." Hinata looks like a paused video, staring at Bokuto wide eyed. Slowly he looks over to me.  
"That's...that's bad..." I nod and turn to walk past them taking up a seat on the couch and curling in my legs to my chest. I lay my head on my knees. I couldn't be there. He was attacked, he was so scared, and I was asleep. And now, here I am on this damn couch while he cries in there alone just because he doesn't want people to see. How many times has he done that? How many nights has he cried alone and lied telling me he was fine? Why can't I help him? I feel a hand on my shoulder. I didn't know I was crying till I looked up and felt a hot tear drip from my cheek. Akaashi stand above me.  
"Go be with him."   
That's all I needed to hear.


	9. Fit of Emotion

Kenma POV  
As soon as he leaves the room I sit up my head in my hands and sob. I feel a gapping part of myself missing. Who was I? I don't remember my childhood. I don't remember meeting Kuroo! He means so much to me now but, why? I know he's my best friend but he means so much more. What happened between us? Why do I feel so much love towards him? I mean, I've even kissed him now! God why did I do that?! I'm the quiet one Kuroo was supposed to kiss me! But I couldn't help myself it..it was the morphine! I grind the palms of my hands into my eyes crying to stop crying. Was I always like this? Did I cry in front of people when I was younger? Was I as introverted then? How many friends did I have? Who have I forgotten? My dad I know still today, he runs a bakery and I visit the shop every few weeks. And obviously my mom is...wait.  
No   
No way I would forget a parent too...  
Who was she? Did I know her? Was she beautiful? Were we happy? God first Kuroo now my own mother. Where were all my memories? Were they happy? God I wanted Kuroo to hold me right now. To wrap me in his arms and never let go. I'm clingy, I'm needy, I want to be held and have my hair played with and be kissed lovingly, but how could I ever tell him that? How could I beg him to love me as much as I love him? I need to feel he loves me to! I yearn for it it's all I ever wanted. When he kissed me, it was just a game! When he came onto me, it was just lust! I don't know why I hate myself for it but I desperately need to feel soft love.  
"Why don't you see damnit!?" I slam my hands onto the pillow crying out, even though my chest burns. "Why can't I see how much I need you to love me!?" The door slams ajar and I jump squeaking in surprise before I'm enveloped in warmth. I'm terrified for a moment before smelling the scent of chestnuts and winter that linger around me. "K-Kuroo?" I choke out.  
"I'm so sorry Kenma...I'm sorry I wasn't there I'm sorry I couldn't save you I'm sorry you lost your memory I'm sorry I walked away I'm sorry I don't fight harder to make you happy I'm sorry I never told you how much I loved you-" he hiccoughs as I feel warm tears on my back. He pulls away leaning his forehead against mine. We both stare into the others eyes, both red from crying. "I promise I'll be better, I'll do more I'll do anything just...don't leave me Kenma!"  
"L-leave you? Kuroo what are you talking about?"  
"I know it I know I never showed you enough love or did enough for you I was afraid of scarring you away and now I'm going to lose you because I did everything wrong!" I have never seen Kuroo so distressed and disheveled before. He looks in a state of depressed panic, a hard emotion to describe. I'm scared by him losing his cool calm demeanor like this. He sees it in my eyes and closes his. He takes deep breathes, his face still close to mine, and runs his hand through my hair. As he sits back I lay back in the bed shaken.  
"I'm sorry I came in here like that... he says more quiet than before. "I just don't want to-"  
"You won't." My voice isn't above a whisper but he shuts his mouth quickly to listen. "Never." I whisper again. His shoulders slouch forward and I see him take a deep breath wiping the tears from his face.  
"I never meant for you to see me like that Kenma..."  
"It's new to me." I reach out gently stroking his cheek." I never see a fit of emotion from you, your so calm..."  
"You really don't remember then?" My eyes shoot up to meet his which were staring at the floor to his right.   
"What..."  
"I wasn't always this calm....

You made me this way."


	10. First Flashback

-Elementary school-

Silence. It's safe. No one can judge what I say if I say nothing. It's how I survive each day. Silent at home, silent at school. It worked.   
Until today.   
I sat in my desk with my hands over my ears to block the laughter around me. The teacher called on me, but all I could do was turn cherry red. How was I supposed to answer? I've never been called on in class like this before.   
"Mute!"  
"Freak!"   
"Idiot!"   
That's not true, I know the answer. 37, it's 37 why can't I just say it? I'm good at math I just have to speak!   
"I-I-it's uh... t-t-t-" but my voice was barely a whisper.  
"He's nothing but a mouse!"  
"A rat!"   
"With a st-t-t-t-tutttttter!" The laughter got louder. The bell for end of school came like a saving grace, so I did the only reasonable thing. I ran.   
I left my backpack behind, with only my sweater and my phone I ran. The halls quickly flooded with bodies shoving past me. I heard laughter approach and felt a fistful of my hair be pulled back. I stumbled and cried out grabbing at the hand holding my long, loose hair. I was being dragged backwards until I'm suddenly tossed sideways. I land on my shoulder harshly and shake the hair from my face. It was an empty classroom. The door slams shut and the three boys saunter over.   
"Caught ya kitty cat." He snickers to himself. I scrambled to hide under a desk but I was pulled out by my ankle. I struggled but it was no use as my arms were twisted behind my back with ease. I could cry out, I could scream and fight, but I am frozen on the spot. I keep my head hung low, my eyes averted, silent. It was my defense mechanism, a complete shut down. Curling into my own mind, pulling away from reality. I didn't feel punches that split my lip, the kicks that bruised my ribs, the twist that over extended my shoulder. I was lost in my mind. In here it is peaceful. In here I am happy, playing video games, making friends, talking with them. In here it is beautiful. There are trees and blue skies, flowers and gentle wind.   
That's when I'm ripped back to reality by the screaming. I see him; a raven haired demon with a bloodlust in his eyes. The boys who hurt me are bleeding from their noses and lips, they are screaming. Running. One is lifted in the air by his collar, flailing helplessly. That's when the demon pulls back his fist, his knuckles dripping with blood.   
"Stop!!"   
The room falls silent. I cling to the demon's arm, an attempt at stopping him. The boy falls to the ground and scampers away. I quickly realize what I've done and back away from the demon. His presence looms dark and cold around me, now alone with him in the empty class room. He steps towards me. I step away. He stops, reaching out one bloody hand towards me. I shudder in fear clenching my eyes shut, too scared to even retreat to my own mind which is overwhelmed with fear. This is it, I stopped him from killing my bullies, and now he'll kill me. I sense him getting closer when suddenly I feel it.  
A gentle hand tentatively brushes a stray tear from my cheek.   
"Are you okay?"


	11. What Really Happened

Kenma POV

It was moments before I realized Kuroo was calling my name. I had just seen a scene play out like a movie in my head. A memory.   
"Kenma!" I finally looked up at Kuroo. "Why were you starring off like that?"   
"You saved me." He looked at me like I was speaking Latin.   
"No, Kenma I didn't get a chance, don't you remember this morning?" He looked like he feared for me, that more memories were disappearing, but it was just the opposite.   
"No, no Kuroo that's when we met. We met because you saved me. I remember, I remember being so scared of you, I thought you were going to..."  
"To kill you. Yeah, I remember, you almost passed out when I asked if you were okay." He laughs to himself almost sarcastically. "I couldn't understand how to make you stop being afraid of me." I feel a twinge of recollection. Yeah, something about that felt familiar.   
"So how did you do it, make me trust you I mean?"   
"I learned, and I guess you did too. I learned that when I yelled, you jumped, so I spoke quietly. When I fought you cried seeing me covered in blood, so I stopped, mostly. But you changed too, I learned to be gentle around you, conscious of physical touch, and you learned not to flinch at my touch, most of the time." He smiles, deep in memory. "You taught me video games, I taught you volley ball. I taught you how to defend yourself but you never really wanted to learn. You taught me how to resolve things without my fists even if I didn't want to listen. We were opposites and yet the pieces fit so well." I notice hot tears on my cheeks despite me smiling. He looks over too finally noticing them."Oh, what did I say? I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"  
"I want to remember that, all of that. I want to be your other half. I want to drink coffee and beat you in games and play volleyball with you. I want to go home." The last part comes out choked as my voice dissolves into sobs. He collects me in his arms again, strong and confident. Everything I can't be, everything I need.   
"We'll go home. I promise. As soon as I know your safe to go home I'll get you out of this wretched hospital and take you home." And that's when the nurse walked in.   
Kuroo POV

I walked back out to the waiting room and the three boys quickly gather to see how everything is going. Hinata is still bouncing, already battering me with questions.   
"So how is he? Can we seem him yet? Does he remember me? Can he walk? Is he coming back to school?" I take a deep breath trying to dress his questions one at a time because I know behind the hyper he is just as worried. It's how he shows it.   
"He is awake and in some pain, no you can't see him they are...running more tests." I hear my own voice shaking and take a deep breath to steady myself. "I'm sure he remembers you he lost childhood memories, he hasn't tried to walk yet, and I don't know when he's coming home, let alone school." Hinata hung on my every word and finally stopped bouncing with a confident nod. I looked up to Akashi.   
"Can I talk to you alone?" He seems to asses my face before nodding and following me down the hall.   
"What's going on?" Worry shone through his ever calm demeanor. I pulled at my clothes and twisted my fingers nervous to bring up the topic I needed.  
"Well you... your kinda the only one I know who knows about this kind of thing...but Kenma, well actually the doctors...they are doing something I don't understand." He nods me on. I know I can trust him I'm just still working up the nerve to say it. I take a deep breath and in a whisper finally blurt it out. "Akashi what is a rape kit?" He releases a held in breath and pulls me into a hug. I suddenly realize how much I had been shaking as I'm pressed into his chest. When he pulls away he seems less worried than before, not the reaction I expected.  
"I know it sounds a lot scarier than it is. They'll check his mouth and, well, his lower regions front and back for any signs. If they find nothing it's done. If they find something it's a simple DNA test and a STD test, for safety and forensic reasons. It will be uncomfortable for him but they are trained to be understanding and gentle. Don't worry about the tests, and don't worry about the results until you know." I'm relieved to hear most of that, to know what is going on. "When did they say you could come back?"   
"Two hours." It seemed like such an abnormally long time. "Would you guys stay here just in case? I need to do something."  
Akashi nods. "I'll call you if anything changes." I give him a quick hug and, not willing to face the others, jog out the front door.   
I had forgotten the boys had mentioned the beginning of the snowfall, and trudging through it I wish I had asked for the car. But walking seemed appropriate. Time to myself to think about what was happening. I take the last turn, trudging down the road I had chased Kenma down. 3 houses down on the left, the one with the green trim, Oikawa's house. Broken or not I felt the need to get back his game system. I promised him that night I would. I knocked on the door and rubbed my hands together for warmth. Moments later oikawa opens the door.  
"Oh, Kuroo. You here to apologize?" I was stunned for a moment.  
"A-apologize? For what?"  
"For ditching the party and leaving your whole little nekoma team in MY house."  
"What do you mean? You offered to host it."  
"Yeah because I wanted to hang out with people I didn't know it was a nekoma victory party. My team lost you know? Great way to make me feel shitty."  
"I didn't know about that. I'm sorry, but-"  
"But nothing, you don't care you and the runt ran off together. I know you and your little boyfriend just decided to ditch the party on purpose."  
"Look, oikawa, I just need Kenna's game okay?"  
"I already told you, we broke it."  
"We?"   
"Yeah some friends of mine as payment for ditching. They weren't fond of Kenma much anyways so no big deal. Beside it was all in fun." I shivered, still standing in the cold.   
"Who did that? What kind of friends are those?"   
"Oh just some boys I met from a different school. Pretty tough, guess they knew Kenma as a kid. Anyways I don't owe you answers so go stumble back to the hospital before you freeze." He goes to slam the door when I shove my foot in it. I brace one hand on the door keeping it open.  
"No one knew Kenma was in the hospital Oikawa. What did you do?"   
"Nothing now get out!" He shoves my foot back and I pull my fingers away seconds before getting crushed. Still empty handed but now with terrible possibilities in my head, I spin on my heels and race back to the hospital.


	12. Long Term Visitors

Kuroo Pov

11:37am

Kuroo: Meet me at the door to the hospital

HOOT: Whats going on

Kuroo: Its Oikawa he knew something about kenma

HOOT: no way he wouldn't

Kuroo: Im on my way back I didnt know there was so much snow

HOOT: how far are you?

Kuroo: around the block, eta 5 mins

HOOT: ill be there

I shove my phone back in my pocket along with my frozen hands. My breath forms a white cloud in front of me as I run towards the hospital. My mind can't connect the dots, Oikawa could never do something this horrible. He's been known to be cruel when upset but even he would never do this. Finally I reach the front door of the hospital as Bokuto steps out, he looks shocked.  
"Kuroo! You ran there, why didn't you take the car are you insane?!" He grabs my arm dragging me inside. It isn't until I'm inside the heated hospital that I realize how cold I am. The snow has soaked through my shoes and up my pants legs. I hadn't even realized that I was lacking a coat or even a sweater. I was so caught up in trying to figure out who did this to Kenma I hadn't felt the cold. I look up to the clacking of heels to see a nurse handing me a towel, the same one I had talked to earlier.   
"Kuroo Tetsuro?" I nod taking the towel to dry my hair, currently plastered to my face and neck. "This is for you." She hands me a orange bracelet. Confused I look up to see Bokuto wearing one as well.   
"It's a long term visitor pass, they didn't want us all in the waiting room so we have a little lounge now since Kenma will be staying here for awhile."  
"Why now, I mean we knew he would be here for a bit but..."  
"His brain scans came back." I freeze midway through ruffling my hair with the towel to dry it.  
"What?" The nurse gestures back towards the hall.  
"Let's discuss it in the room."  
We enter the room to see Hinata curled up on the couch eagerly texting, watching Akaashi pace the length of the room. They look up together when I walk in.   
"Kuroo, your soaked!" Hinata looked up from his phone concerned.   
"I'm fine I just want to know the results." Bokuto and I joined them in the room, hinata and I on the couch, Bokuto perched on the armrest and Akaashi standing. The nurse begins to speak, a long stream of information most of which I don't understand. Retrograde Amnesia. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Depersonalization. I begin to piece together some information to understand what's going on. Childhood memories were lost. He went through something traumatic and could possibly have PTSD, something we won't know until he is "triggered". Depersonalization...that I still don't understand.   
"Nurse?" She nods at me. "What is depersonalization, what does that mean for Kenma?"  
"Oh yes, Depersonalization means that he has a disconnection from himself. After a trauma a patient sometimes feel as if they have changed and the world around them seems dream like or unimportant. He may retreat within his mind to escape. We need to monitor him to insure it does not affect his day to day life after this experience." Retreat inside his mind, finally I had a name for what he did. Those days when he would disappear inside his head, it's like he turned himself off. I first saw it the day I saved him from the bullies. I had peaked in the door after watching it slam shut. What I saw took a while to process, a small boy being held by his arms, being beat up. While that wasn't such a surprising sight it was the boy who caught my eye. Small, fragile, and completely calm. His face was blank with no sign of pain, his eyes gently closed. His body was limp, no fight, no struggle. I was so confused and concerned and strangely angry. I lost my mind, whaling on the bullies, sending them running and bloody, all the time the boy simply lay there and I feared I was too late. That is until he stopped me from destroying the last boy. He made me let him go, but at the same time, seemed more scared of me than the bullies. Since then, I've seen it many times. Days where he doesn't leave his bed, doesn't eat, doesn't speak. On those days I come over, take care of him until he comes back. Finally it has a name.   
"What causes people to do that?" If I can find out why Kenma does it maybe I can help him with it instead of just sitting there uselessly.   
"Well generally depersonalization begins due to a traumatic experience like an assault, a kidnapping or childhood abuse. Why?" My head reels but I decide to think about it later. It would be too much for me right now.   
"Just curious sorry." The boys look away, they all know about Kenmas occasional "bad days" as we call them and I'm sure are just as worried about him as I am. "When can I see him?"  
"The process takes between two and four hours, so you should be able to see him by one. If any of you would like lunch before then there is a small cafeteria upstairs." And with that she was gone. After a few minutes of silence Hinata stands up.   
"Well...there no point in just sitting here. Why don't we eat?" He may be staying positive but you can see how worried he is. We all nod in agreement and Akaashi leads Bokuto out. As I go to follow I feel Hinata tug on my shirt. I turn around and he has his head hung clutching his phone to his chest.  
"Hinata whats wrong?" I hear him sniffle.   
"I know you said not to tell anyone but Kageyama demanded to know why I wasn't at practice and I told him I was at the hospital and he thought he meant for me but I said no but I wouldn't tell him who and he is freaking out and I-" he trails off wiping his nose with his sweater sleeve. I quickly pull him into a hug.   
"Hinata it's fine I'm so sorry. I know if Kenma didn't show to practice I would demand to know where he was, you did the right thing. Why don't you add him to a chat and we can explain what's going on over lunch." He nods and we head off to the cafe, him tapping away on his phone behind me.   
Settled down with a cold ham sandwich and a coke I pull out my phone and take a deep breath.   
12:17

You have been added to the group chat

Setterlife: Kuroo what the hell is going on

Hinata: Kages please be nice...

Setterlife: i deserve to know why your in a hospital  
Kuroo: Kenma was attacked

Setterlife: your not serious

Kuroo: He has a brain injury. We are trying to keep it low key until we know the details.

Setterlife: kuroo im so sorry...

Setterlife: oh god hinata im sorry i freaked out on you for keep a secret like a good friend

Hinata: its okay im just worried for kenma

Setterlife: do you guys need anything?

Kuroo: just time to figure this all out before we tell our team.

Setterlife: got it. Tell me if you need anything. Anything else?

Kuroo: I don't think so thanks for understanding

Hinata is typing....

You have left the group chat

I see Hinata is visibly more relaxed now that he has someone he loves to talk to about this. I feel bad for causing such a panic but this should stay a secret, for Kenmas sake. I thought about telling him about the scars on kenmas chest but nobody but me knows about those yet. Not even Kenma. Once he knows he can decide to tell people or keep this a secret. A few people are milling in and out of the cafe when over the chatter of the room I hear my name.   
"Kuroo Tetsuro?" I drop my sandwich to the table and stand. "We need you, it's about Kenma."


	13. Panic Attack

Kuroo POV

I'm running down the hall leaving the boys behind. The nurse is quickly clicking behind me. I hear snippets of what she is trying to tell me.  
"Panic attack"  
"Won't respond to us"  
"Called your name"  
I get to his room ahead of her only to be blocked by a doctor.   
"Let me in." He holds a hand up.  
"You need to be creating a calming quiet environment not bursting in like a maniac other wise we can't let you in." I open my mouth to argue but think better of it and take a deep breath. I know better than to fight, Kenma taught me that. I nod to the doctor that I understand and he lets me past. The sight is like a flashback from years ago. Kenm, has eyes shut curled up on the hospital bed, surrounded by doctors trying to help him. Grabbing at him trying to roll him onto his back.  
"Stop it you'll only hurt him more!" I try not to scream as I run in shooing the doctors.  
"He is hurting himself he has an IV in his arm and he is all tensed up we can't take the needle out."  
"Let me handle him!" I sit on the edge of the bed and he whimpers pulling away.   
"Kenma it's me, it's okay." At the sound of my voice he almost relaxes. I gently place my hand on his arm and he pulls away, screaming again.   
"No! No, Kuroo help! I don't want to!" My heart cracks.   
"Kenma look at me! It's me you're safe!" His hands are twisted into his hair, I'm worried he will damage his stitches. I place my hand on his arm again and he flinches, as if my touch pained him. "Kenma, let go." My voice is quiet but stern. His grip loosens, so I know I'm getting through. "I'm going to move you Kenma, just relax". I gently pick up his head and scoot his pillow over so I can sit against the wall. I lay his head back in my lap. I can feel his body shaking as I gently run my hands through his hair.   
"I am here, you are safe." Im careful to avoid touching his skin, so not to scare him. He relaxes from his panic finally realizing where he is, slowly returning to the real world. As he does he looks up at me, tears overflowing onto his flushed cheeks.   
"Kenma relax your arm you have an IV in." His body responds slowly, his arm relaxing to his side and revealing the needle in his arm. The doctors quickly take the IV out and kenma pulls away curling into a ball. He is visibly shaking, so I ask the main doctor if I can have some time alone with him. The doctor checks Kenmas vitals, much to his displeasure, and finally okays him being left alone. The room clears out and a silence settles around us. Kenma is still in a ball, his head on my lap, and shaking like a leaf. I pull on the blanket beneath him until its adjusted all the way under his back, and then wrap it around him. Touch is it what scares him and skin contact makes it worse. After thoroughly wrapping him in the soft white blankets I speak quietly to him.   
"Kenma, you are in a safe place now. It's just me. You can come back now." His stare remains glossy, looking into the distance to somewhere far from here. Inside his own head where he is safe. I gently place my hand on his back and I feel him tense up, at least it's a response. I slowly rub circles on his back until he begins to relax to the touch. His sporadic breathing slows back to normal and finally I feel him move slightly.   
"Kuroo?" His voice is no more than a whisper.   
"I'm here, you're safe to come back." He rolls onto his back stretching out his limbs, probably sore from being all curled up. He sits up then, turning to sit facing me on the bed.   
"I'm sorry for the trouble." He hangs his head. Always apologetic even when he is the victim. This hasn't been the worst panic attack I've seen from him. At least he was aware of his surroundings and was able to respond. It's when the panic attack looked more like a seizure that it was terrifying. I shake my head to clear the image.  
"You're no trouble Kenma. You never are." I hold my arms out to him and he scoots over, still wrapped in blankets to sit in my lap sideways. His head rests against my chest and I wrap my arms around him. This time he doesn't move away from my touch. Instead he curls in tighter to my chest, tears still leaking from his eyes. I'm dying to ask the cause but I know better, until he is ready asking about it will only bring back the fear. We stay like this, him quietly crying and me holding him, useless to help him. Finally I hear him whisper, but can't make out what he says.   
"I didn't hear you I'm sorry." He takes a deep breathe and shutters.   
"I remembered something when they..." His voice trails off to nothing. I wait to see if he continues but I only feel him start shaking again. Whatever it is, it's really upset him. Worse even than when he discovered his memory loss. He seems shattered by this one thing, but what could it be?  
"You remembered something from when?" He hesitates, his breath choppy from crying.  
"From before, from when I was younger. About my..." He pauses. Takes a deep breathe, shakes his head and starts again. "About my...Mother." I freeze, ice shooting up my spine.   
"Kenma wait." I curse myself in my head. I'm fighting myself, dying to know what he remembered, but respecting him too much not to tell him. "Kenma, you never speak of your mother, it's the only thing you've never told me. I know everything about you except what your mother was like. You don't have to tell me now." He goes silent again and it seems like he has decided to keep it a secret, until he speaks up again.  
"I need to tell someone. I don't think I ever have." I nod understanding.  
"You can trust me." He sits up in my lap turning to face me. Suddenly he is sobbing, his hands clutching my shirt. I rub his back, holding him close, but I can feel myself shaking, terrified of what I am about to hear.   
"Kuroo," He gasps between sobs. "It was a living Hell, oh God it was Hell and she, my mother, was Satan."


	14. A Dark Past

//TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ABUSE//

I sit in silence as Kenma talks, pouring out what he remembers between sobs. His mom never wanted him, she wanted a girl. So that's what she made him. She dressed him up exactly as she wanted, all dresses and pink. He was forced to act "proper", and was beaten for speaking when not asked a question. My face grows hot in anger the more he talks, my chest tightening with every word. His mom was a user, addicted to drugs that never let her think right. When she was asleep Kenma's father was his only solace. Secretly comforting him and letting him talk and express himself. I feel myself nearly ready to scream, or cry, or hurt someone, that is until kenmas voice drops to a whisper. Curled up in my lap, his head on my chest, I can barely hear him.

"The men, men she got her stuff from. Men she couldn't pay with money. Men she let touch her "beautiful daughter" instead. Men who were disgusted when they discovered I was a boy. Men who hurt me." His whisper dissolves into crying and I hold him tighter than I ever have. All the anger in my body goes cold, my mind goes numb. Molested, beaten, by men he didn't know. Why. How. Suddenly the empty spot in Kenmas life I never knew is filled with this darkness, and everything else makes sense. His dad told me long ago Kenmas mom had died in prison. He said it with such disgust, that finally made sense. I had gone so long never knowing why kenma was so quiet, so reserved. Never knew why he disassociated, never even knew what that was. Never knew why touch scared him. I have to stay strong in front of him. Hold it together. His cries slowly diminish until he is silent, eyes closed, looking peaceful, but drained. I wait until his breathing slows to a steady rhythm, panic attacks are draining and often he sleeps afterwards. I scoop him up in my arms and scoot off the bed, turning around and laying him down. He stirs and I kiss his forehead gently.

"Stay." he mutters. My heart breaks.

"I'll be right back." I whisper, brushing his hair aside. His eyes close again and he drifts back off, wrapped up in blankets. I quietly leave the room. Doctors still stand in the hall. "Don't touch him, let him sleep.." I address them as I walk away before they can argue with me. I take a couple turns before I find a bathroom I can lock myself into. I slam the door shut and flip the lock, throwing my back against the door. I scream. I can't help it, I scream in anger and sorrow, hot tears spilling down my face. My fist slams into the cold brick wall, without my knowledge, and the dull pain connects something. Again and again skin meets brick. I don't feel the skin on my knuckles split apart, or the warm blood that follows. My knees give out and I sink to the floor, laying my head back against the wall. It feels better to have let it out, this wasn't something I could react quietly to, rationally. So I reverted back to the things Kenma hates. He'll be upset when he sees my hand. I'm reminded by the stinging in my knuckles of his upset looks and worried voice. "Please don't hurt yourself like this" he would say, bandaging my knuckles on the edge of his bed. I always used to say 'it's me or them' either I punch walls, or I punch the people who I'm mad at. Either way someone gets hurt, I'd rather it be me.

I hear banging on the door and realize someone must have heard me screaming, I am in a public place after all.

"Are you okay in there? Open up!" I should respond, get up and wash off my face and hand, but I don't. I let them bang on the door, and I stay here on the floor, eyes closed. What am I supposed to do now? Now that I know, I'm even more worried than before. I got used to being careful around him, gentle, quiet when needed. But now that I know why, and I know what he kept from me for so long. Now, I don't even know how to react to him, I'm afraid if I touch him at all he will get scared. All those times he flinched when I touched him I know what he was thinking finally. How am I supposed to live with that. With a click the door opens and in steps a doctor, holding the keys to the bathroom. She looks at me, and then at my hand and sighs. I prepare myself to be scolded but instead she holds out a kind hand, and helps me up.

"Lets go talk." Her voice is kind and empathetic so I follow her, past the other concerned nurses in the hall.

I find myself in a doctors office, the doctor who helped me up is now cleaning off my knuckles. I feel bad for making her go through this.

"Did you lose someone close to you?" She asks, not looking up from her work. I shake my head.

"Just learned some startling news."

"A diagnosis?"

I shake my head. "No, a past trauma of someone close to me." She nods her head, but doesn't push any farther. After some medicine she wraps up my knuckles in gauze.

"Your injuries were minor, don't worry."

I rub the gauze gently as she goes to wash her hands. "Hey.." I begin, unsure of my question. "How do you interact with someone once you know something horrible happened to them?" She doesn't answer for a moment and I begin to think she didn't hear me. But finally she turns around and speaks up, drying off her hands.

"No different than before you knew. They have always been the same person, so why would how you treat them change? Don't try to empathize, don't pity them, don't apologize. Just be there for them, listen closely, and don't change how you think of them."

I nod for a moment, thinking it over. I guess she's right. "Thank you." She nods, smiling before leaving the room. I stay a moment longer to think. Kenma is no different than before he told me, he is still kenma, I still love him the same. I just need to show him that. I head off out the door, and back down the hall to kenmas room. I find the doctors and apologize for storming off. I quickly try to explain that kenma was set off by skin contact, and that care needed to be taken to avoid that, and talk to him, warning him before trying to touch him. All of the doctors are incredibly understanding and take note to pass that on to the nurses caring for kenma as well. I thank them again before stepping back into kenmas room. He is sound asleep, the lights turned off and his monitors beeping quietly. I walk over, and sit on the side of his bed.

"Kenma?" HIs eyes flutter open a bit and he smiles sleepily.

"Kuroo, you came back."

I lay down next to him and he scoots closer to me, burying his face into my chest. "I always will Kenma." Gently I place him hand on his back, and to my surprise he doesn't flinch. Instead, he drifts back off to sleep, and I can't help but let a few silent tears fall. Nothing will change us, nothing will take him away from me. I kiss the top of his head gingerly before closing my eyes as well, exhausted. I will always be here.


	15. A Fathers Blessing

The nurses let us nap for awhile and when I wake up I gently move Kenma, still asleep, and leave the room. I wander back to the room where the rest of the boys are waiting and to my surprise I'm greeted by kenmas father.

"Kozume-sama, when did you get here?"

"I left the shop as soon as I was called," He says, making his way over to me. "I was there early to prepare for today but-" He sniffles and wraps me in a tight embrace. I'm a bit started, Kenmas father has always been kind to me but never this kind. Regardless I wrap my arms around him. Eventually he steps back, wiping tears off on his sleeves.

"Do you know about...?" I trail off letting the question finish itself.

He nods and gestures around at everyone. "The doctors and all these kind folks filled me in on everything. Even though Kenma is nearly 18 I still had quite a bit of paperwork to do. But the important part is that Kenma is okay and I have you to thank for that." I shake my head but he continues. "Don't think I don't notice how often you two are together, everything you do for him, the way he relaxes around you. You were the one who saved him, not only today but so many times, from himself." He drops his voice. "From his mother."

I look around at all my friends in the room. "Guys can I have a second to talk to him?" They all nod and Bokuto perks up.

"Hey, i saw ice cream in the cafe last time let's go get some!" He says excitedly.

"Icecream!" Hinata says laughing, and they all pile out.

"We'll be in the cafe." Aakashi says, giving me a gentle smile. When they are gone I take a seat and gesture for Kenmas dad to sit too. I subconsciously cover the gauze on my knuckles, embarrassed as usual of my outbursts. Kenmas dad puts his hand on my leg and smiles at me.

"You've done so much for Kenma, and now being here for him, doing all this."

"It's nothing, really. Any good friend would do the same." I say sheepishly.

"I saw you two asleep in there you know."

I feel myself turning bright pink. "Well, I was just, you know..."

He shakes his head, cutting me off. "You don't have to explain yourself Kuroo. I see the way you look at my son. You two are in love, aren't you?"

I look down, feeling embarrassed. Kenma wasn't out to his family and this felt like I was taking that away from him. We were just best friends to any one who asked, but it seemed too late to lie about it now. "I really love him Kozume-sama. I know it's not conventional me being bisexual and all, but I don't think gender should matter and if your mad at him please don't be because he just wants to be happy and I know you supporting him would mean a lot and it's my fault anyways I liked him first so you can be mad at me instead if you want to and-"

"Kuroo, Kuroo, slow down!" He says shaking his head at me again. "I've known Kenma was gay for a long time, I was just waiting for him to tell me. I have nothing wrong with you two being together. You have saved Kenma countless times he wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you."

I'm overjoyed for a moment before being confused again. "You said a minute ago I saved him from his mom, what did you mean? His mom was arrested you told me, I didn't do anything about that, I didn't even know why she was arrested until today."

He nods knowingly at me. "Then Kenma hasn't told you. Maybe it isn't my place but you deserve to know. You met Kenma in third grade, is that right?"

"Yeah he was still 8, I had just turned 9."

"Well his mother was arrested when he was nearly 10, just over a year after he met you." My stomach dropped. I had assumed this ended before I even knew him. To know I was friends with him while this was still going on, I think I'm going to be sick.

"Why, why are you telling me this?"

"Kenma called because of you. I couldn't call, I was under her control as well, but he did it. He called in the middle of the night, he got her arrested, he testified in court all at such a young age. And when asked why," Tears start to form in his eyes as he talks. "He told the judge that he was going to kill himself to escape. Something I never even knew. But he said he met someone who told him that his life was worth living, that life was worth fighting for. A boy with a passion for what the future held in his eyes. It was you kuroo. You changed him, you woke him up, you did more than I ever could." I hadn't noticed I was crying until tears fell onto my lap. How much had I cried today? I could remember now, thinking back, how often kenma came to school covered in bruises, the days he would miss school. "I'm clumsy." He would say. "I get sick a lot." I always believed him, but now, knowing that he was lying, that he was enduring hell everyday he went home, that even now he never told me, I drop my head into my hands. The reason we never hung out after school. The reason he didn't join volleyball until 5th grade even though I asked every year. The reason he always looked so tired, never ran around at recess, never had a lunch packed. "I didn't sleep well." "I ate a big breakfast." "I'm saving room for an after school snack instead." The reason I never saw him smile... Kenma's father rubs my back with one hand as I cry in front of him. I'm not going to hide this away or hold it back. I let it all out right there in front of him.

"Kuroo, I know this is a lot, but please. Don't beat yourself up. The point is you saved him then, you saved him today," He pauses, and his hand stops moving on my back. "And I'm trusting you to keep saving him in the future. He needs you, and I think you need him too. This family would be happy to have you."


	16. Goodnight

When Kenma's father gets pulled away to discuss treatment plans I meet back up with the boys in the cafe.

"Hey, Kuroo how is everything?" Akaashi asks, having noticed me first. He always is a step away from everyone, quiet, always taking in his surroundings. So unlike Bokuto, who was laughing loudly and failing his arms at the table. Regardless, the opposite boys were inseparable, even if akaashi never admitted to it.

"Good, bad, everywhere in between." I'm feeling a lot of emotions right now, and I'm not sure how to explain them all to him, or if I even should. He nods understandingly, not pushing for an explanation. Akaashi is always understanding like that, letting you think through and explain things without interrupting or assuming anything. He's the best listener I know.

"So, school gets out soon, even though we skipped classes I don't think we can all skip practice."

"No, no I wouldn't ask you to. You all go back, tell coach I'll explain it all when I get back."

"But what will we do without our captain?" Bokuto asks jokingly, leading the group over.

"And our best setter?"

I can't help but laugh a bit. "You'll all survive one practice without us. We will be back soon enough." I include Kenma in the statement even being unsure of when or if he can return to volleyball this season. The boys pack up their bags, promise to come back after practice, and leave. Hinata waits a few minutes until Kageyama pulls up. He hops out and grabs Hinatas bag.

"Hey Kuroo, hope everything gets better." He mumbles, as bad as usual with nice words. Hinata gives me a quick hug before also hopping into the car. Suddenly the hospital feels huge and empty. I wander back to Kenna's room and knock gently before opening the door. I peak in before stepping in and looking around. Empty. I run back into the hallway to find a nurse. I stop the nearest one I see.

"I'm looking for a patient, kenma kozume, he wasn't in his room in the ICU." She notices I'm a bit frantic and quickly walkie talkies to a few people.

"Ah I found him, room 314 in the patient recovery rooms." I follow her instructions up the stairs and eventually find the 300's. 312, 313, 314. I knock and peak in. Kenma is sitting up in bed, legs dangling over the side.

"Hey," he says quietly smiling over at me. I can't help to smile back. He is in a pair of white cotton pants the hospital must have given him, but his chest is still bare, covered in bandages. I remember the cuts under there and wonder if the doctors told him yet.

"It's nice to see you up." I say, walking in. "Everyone else has left for practice." As I approach I notice bruises beginning to show on his stomach and arms, one of them on his arm looks disturbingly like a hand. "How are feeling?"

"Better." He says. "I haven't gotten up yet, I'm kinda nervous about getting dizzy."

"Well here." I hold out my arm to him. "I'm sure you'll be fine." He gently places his hand on my arm and stands. He keeps a hand on me tentatively and then I feel him shift, placing more weight on me. "What hurts?"

"My ankle." He sits back down on the bed.

"Here, let me see." I kneel down in front of him. He turns slightly pink and looks away, holding out his left leg to me. I take it and roll up his pants. On the outside of his ankle a purple bruise is spreading. "It definitely looks bruised. Did it hurt to stand on it?"

"Yeah, do you think we should tell the doctor?" He looks concerned.

"I'm sure your okay but it wouldn't hurt to ask." 30 minutes and an x-ray later kenma is told it's a small fracture, not enough to need a cast, but no sports for 3 months. Kenma looks deflated.

"Three months? I won't even be able to play until next season starts, and since your graduating this year..." He looks down. "We won't be able to play together."

"Hey don't worry about that." I wrap my arm around him comfortingly. "Just worry about getting better first." He nods but still looks pretty upset. It's starting to get late. "Kenma, have you eaten yet today?" I say, changing the subject.

"No." He shakes his head.

"Let's get you something then." We call in the doctor and order him a bowl of rice with some chicken. He scoots over and we both sit on his bed while he eats, picking around most of the chicken. We talk like it was a normal day on my bed, minus the video games. For a minute, seeing him laugh, I can forget where we are and what happened today. We laugh about the stupid things. About if all this qualifies him to not have to do homework, about getting to skip gym class.

"Hey sure maybe you can't do volleyball but think about not having to run the mile!"

He laughs before looking at me, his face serious. "You know, I would still rather run a thousand miles and get to play volleyball with you again."

I almost can't believe how sweet, and also ridiculous that sounded. I smile. "Kenma-"

Just then the door opens.

"A fracture too Kenma?" We both look up to see Kozume-sama in the doorway. I flash him a shy smile.

"Dad?" Kenma looks super uncomfortable, but his dad looks overcome with emotion.

"I'm so glad your okay." His dad comes over and looks like he is about to grab kenma in a hug, but stops a moment before he does. I look over at Kenma and his eyes glisten, but he opens his arms and his dad embraces him gently. "I was so worried about you."

"I'll be okay dad, I promise." I smile at his dad as I stand.

"I can let you two talk for a bit." I look at kenma to judge his reaction. He doesn't look too happy about the idea.

"Actually Kuroo, it getting late." Kenmas dad smiles at me. "Why don't I watch Kenma tonight, go home, rest, take a shower."

"Oh, I don't know, I mean I would be fine staying." I'm already trying to find a way to stay, I don't want kenma sleeping in this hospital bed alone.

"We have a lot to talk about tonight Kuroo, we will see you in the morning." Kozume-sama's voice is stern, and I don't see a way around it anymore. I turn to Kenma who looks calm, but I can see in his eyes he's pleading me not to go.

"I'll be back in the morning...okay?" I wrap him in a hug and he throws his arms around my neck hugging me close. "I'll be back I promise." I whisper close to his ear.

"I'll be okay." He whispers back. I pull away and run a hand through his hair lingering on his cheek a moment too long as he leans his face into my hand. 

"Goodnight."

Kozume-sama gives me a quick hug thanking me a bunch before I leave the room. I head to the front desk. Looking out the windows the sun is already setting. I ask the lady at the front desk how soon I can come in the morning to see him. 5am at the earliest. I'll be here I swear it. I shove my hands in my pockets, take a deep breath, and head out into the snowy outdoors for the lonely walk home.


	17. Early Morning

I rub my eyes sleepily as I walk up to the hospital, huddled in an over sized hoodie. The sun hasn't risen yet and my breath shows in little white puffs. In my hands is a small bouquet of roses from the gas station, the only place open at 4:30 in the morning. I walk in the front doors, and up to the front desk. The lady glances up at me, and then at the flowers in my hand.

"I'm here to visit someone." I say, fidgeting slightly under her stare. I'm not one to do sappy things like buying flowers, but I thought that maybe Kenma would like it. The receptionist glaces up at the clock and I realize I'm nearly 10 minutes early. She looks back at me and sighs.

"Who are you here to see?"

I smile. "Kenma Kozume." She does some typing on her computer, and I show her my orange wristband.

"Alright hun, room 314."

"Thank you." I head off down the hallways again back to Kenmas room. I knock on his room door but no one answers from inside. I wonder if he was moved again. I open the door and step in, but all his things are still here. I notice the bathroom door closed and can vaguely hear the sound of the shower running. Good god, why is he showering so early in the morning? I wonder if he couldn't sleep and I immediately regret not trying to spend the night here. I lay the roses on his bed on the way to the bathroom to let him know I'm here. I go to knock and freeze with my hand midair. I can hear crying from the bathroom. My heart sinks in my chest. He isn't showering, he has it on so no one can hear him. I know his tricks. I try the door knob and its unlocked. I push the door open slowly and hear him gasp and try to subdue his sobs. The whole room is filled with steam from the running water.

"Kenma?" I ask quietly. He is standing in front of the bathroom mirror, the bandages from his chest on the floor around him. The cuts on his chest are swollen and red, but I can still clearly read the F-A-G across his skin. He doesn't notice, his eyes are glued to the mirror, his expression blank. Tears cover his cheeks and drip down onto his bare chest. I step closer, trying not to startle him when he comes back from wherever his mind has taken him. I gently take his hand, but still he doesn't react, so I step in front of him and break his gaze from the mirror. Suddenly he is back, and his knees give out. I catch him around the waist before his knees hit the floor, and gently help him sit on the floor, leaning against the wall. He wipes his eyes and looks around as if waking up. Who knows how long he was disassociating in here?

"Kuroo, when did you get here?" His voice is still quiet and shaky.

"I just walked in, I'm sorry." I say, turning off the shower and kneeling down in front of him. "How long have you been in here?

He shrugs and shakes his head, staring down at his chest. "The doctors said I had cuts, not writing."

"I was going to tell you, I just didn't get the chance."

He drags a finger across the scabs, tracing out the letters. "I can't believe anyone would do this." He whispers, sniffling.

I place my hand on his cheek, lifting his gaze up to meet mine, and lean in. He closes his eyes and I rest my forehead against his. "I'm so sorry." I whisper. I hear him sniffle but he doesn't respond right away. "Kenma, I'm s-"

"Stop. Please stop apologizing." His words are practically a plea.

"What?" I pull back.

"You make it sound like this is all your fault. It isn't. I don't need you to feel sorry for me." He forces a smile on his face, but it's fake. "I'm okay."

"Bullshit." I whisper shaking my head. "That's bullshit Kenma. You are not okay. You don't have to be okay."

"I do. I have to be. For my dad. For the team. For you." Fresh tears begin to well up again.

"Fine. Do it for your dad. Hell even do it for the team if you want to." I grab his hands and look deep into his eyes. "But don't you ever put on that fake smile for me. Do not pretend to be okay for me. I want to be there for you, don't take that from me."

Kenma's eyes seem to search mine for something, and I don't know what he finds in my gaze but some wall inside him cracks. He throws his arms around my neck, sobbing loudly. I freeze for a moment, before melting into him and holding him close. I have never heard him cry like this, loud and not held back at all. Not his usual stifled sobs. I place my hand on the back of his head, holding him to my chest.

"I'm so scared Kuroo. I can't sleep. I can't stop hearing them laughing, I seem them in my nightmares. These faceless demons haunt me everywhere I go. Every shadow every sound is them." His whole body shakes in my arms.

"I'm not leaving you. I promise I'll protect you." And I swear this time I mean it.

I manage to calm Kenma back down enough for me to rewrap his chest with clean bandages, although wobbly, I help him to his feet. I help him walk back to the room, with an arm looped behind his back.

He sees the roses on the bed and smiles at me. "Are those from you?"

I feel my cheeks warm up. I'm not used to romantic gestures, but I remember Kenma's words from the night he was crying alone. About how much he needs me to love him. I always have, I just need to find a way to show it. "Yeah, I thought you might like them."

He sits on the bed and picks up the bouquet. "I do. Thank you, but I didn't know you were a flower person."

I rub the back of my neck awkwardly. "I'm not, but if you are, I'm willing to be." I take a deep breath and take his hands. "Plus I wanted them so I could ask you properly."

"Ask?" His cheeks go bright pink and he looks at me wide eyed. For a moment I just take in his face, adoring it.

"Kenma, will you please make me the happiest person alive, and be my boyfriend?"

His smile grows so wide it lights up his face. It seems so rare to see him smile like this. "Yes." He whispers.

I cup his cheek in my hand and bring his face to mine, but I pause, my lips so close to his I can feel his shaky breath. For a moment neither of us move, then he leans in, closing the gap. The kiss is gentle, nothing like our first, or even our second kiss. Those were rushed, nothing more than pecks on the lips. But this time I move slowly, feeling the softness of his lips on mine. I feel a rush in my chest. I had kissed girls before, I've had girlfriends in the past. But this is a completely new experience. I have never been with a guy before. And more than that, I didn't feel the deep emotions I feel for Kenma with any of those girls. I lean into the kiss and Kenma joins, leaning back slightly on the bed. Kenma parts his lips slightly, inviting more. But despite my desire to keep going, I break the kiss.

"We don't have to rush." I whisper, kissing his cheek. I can feel him shaking again so I pull away, sitting beside him on the bed. He tucks his knees up to his chest. "Talk to me." I place my hand on his shoulder and he flinches slightly. He seems jumpy.

Kenmas POV

I was so happy Kuroo asked me out. Kuroo Tetsuro, my boyfriend. And he kissed me. I've never had a kiss like this before, so gentle and loving. So why? Why suddenly is my body turning against me? I'm shaking, my heart thumping inside my chest, a deep sense of panic setting in. I hate this. Ever since what my mom did to me, getting turned on terrifies me. Sometimes when unspeakable things happened back then, I couldn't help my bodies reaction. And now my brain associates being turned on with panic, fear, and pain. But I want this. I know I want this because I love him. I open my mouth but instead of furthering our kiss, Kuroo stops completely.

"We don't have to rush." He whispers in my ear, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. Relief floods over me. He leans away from me and sits beside me on the bed. I curl my knees up to my chest, trying to calm my nerves. I close my eyes and focus on controlling my thoughts.

He is not one of the men from my childhood. He is not here to hurt me. He will not take advantage of me. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe.

He touches my shoulder and I jump, coming back from inside my head. I look over at him and he is looking at me expectantly, like he is waiting for me to say something.

"What?"

"Talk to me Kenma, what's going on in your head?"

I don't want to let him know that his touch brings me back to those thoughts. He will be afraid to touch me. I can't have that. "I'm just tired, I'm sorry."

He stares deep into my eyes and shakes his head. "Tell me the truth. You suck at lying."

I can't help but smile at his bluntness, but the smile fades quickly. "I'm nervous. That's all. I've never really had a relationship so I've never done anything outside of..." I let the sentence trail off, not willing to say what was done to me out loud.

"That's okay. We take this at your speed, got it? I will never push you to do anything you aren't absolutely sure of." He wraps his arm around my back and I lay my head on his shoulder, feeling safe next to him. I can still feel my whole body shaking just slightly, as the panic drains from my blood.

"I'm sure of one thing." I whisper. He looks down at me curiously and I lift my head to place a gentle kiss on his lips, my stomach fluttering with nerves. "I love you Kuroo Tetsuro."

His face turns pink and I see his eyes fill with warmth. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and smiles. "I love you too Kenma Kozume."


	18. Police Report

Kuroo POV

The morning slides by peacefully, and we don't talk about the incident in the bathroom. Around 7am the nurses come in to check Kenmas vitals, look at machines, and mutter over charts. One of the nurses takes the gauze off of my hands from the day before. I stretch my fingers, frowning at the scabs along my knuckles. Kenma takes my hand, running his finger along the damage. I open my mouth to apologize, but Kenma shakes his head and I stop.

"Don't apologize. I know why you did what you did. I just wish you hadn't." He doesn't take his eyes off my hand. It's nice to hear him speak to me like this,so open about his feelings. Somehow it feels like things have changed since yesterday.

"I know." I start, but a knock at the door makes us both jump, and he drops my hand. I frown, but stand up to get the door. Kenma scoots back against the wall in his bed, pulling the blanket around himself. I glance back at him before opening the door. In the hall stands Bokuto and Akaashi. Bokuto holds a silver get well soon balloon, and Akaashi is holding a tray of coffees from the local shop.

"Is Kenma okay for visitors?" Akaashi asks, while Bokuto peers over his shoulder expectantly.

"Yeah, can we come see him?" Bokuto bounces on his heels.

"Shouldn't you guys be in school?" I ask, glancing at the gifts.

"We were on our way but Bokuto insisted we stop by before going." He lifts up the tray of four cups. "We thought you two could use some coffee."

I glance back at kenma in bed with a raised eyebrow. He nods and I turn back, opening the door. "It's good to see you guys." Bokuto bounds past me into the room and Akaashi walks in, letting me close the door. He hands be a tall cup, still steaming. I smell the hot coco and smile.

"Two shots of espresso, I thought you might need it." He smiles. I take a sip and nearly burn my tongue, but it feels great.

"Thank you, I really did." I watch Bokuto chatter happily to Kenma as he ties the balloon to his bed. Akaashi offers him his coffee and Kenma takes it quietly whispering a thank you. Akaashi steps over to me as usual to watch Bokuto chat eagerly to Kenma from a step away.

"How are you doing Kuroo?" He asks.

"I'm okay. Things have been difficult, but I can't imagine being in his place."

Akaashi nods. "He's tough, that's for sure."

Not tough. I can't help but think to myself. He is so much more than tough. "Thanks again for the coffee, and the visit. I know it means a lot to him to see you guys." I smile at him and he returns the smile, but it seems sad. Before I can ask why, Bokuto bounces over, crushing me in a hug.

"We gotta run now Kuroo, we're already gunna be late. Take care okay!" He grabs Akaashi's hand and with a wave and a grin, the pair are gone. Kenma takes a deep breath and shakes his head, glacing from the coffee in his hands to the silver balloon floating at the end of his bed.

"Those two are like a tornado. Here and gone like a whirlwind of chaos." He mutters.

"Very poetic of you Kenma." I say laughing and shaking my head. I cross the room to sit next to him on his bed again.

"I wonder how much longer they are going to keep me here." He says, looking wishfully down at his coffee.

"I'm sure it won't be long. They have to make sure you're safe to go home first."

"I know I know. He says, running his fingers along the stitches in his head.

"Are the stitches bothering you?"

"They hurt. But then again, everything hurts. I feel like one giant bruise."

I can't help but laugh. "Well that's to be expected. They really did a number on you and your room."

"My room?" Kenma looks up at me suddenly, and I realize he had no idea.

"Oh Kenma, I forgot you didn't see it yet." I curse myself internally for even bringing it up.

"How bad is it?"

"It's manageable." I say hesitantly.

He looks deeply into my eyes searching for the truth. "You're lying."

I sigh. "Kenma, it's bad but it's nothing we can't handle together."

He studies my face for a moment again when a loud knock comes from the door. "Come in." Kenma calls with a soft voice, looking up as the door opens.

An officer walks in, the same officer I talked to the first night we came here. "Kenma Kozume?"

I can feel Kenma stiffen beside me and I lay a supportive hand on his leg. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, but we need an official statement for the police report so we can follow up on this case."

"Oh, yeah of course. What do you need me to do?" Kenma asks, scooting to the edge of the bed.

"Don't worry about getting up." The officer says, walking further into the room. "I have a tape recorder and I just need to record the statement. I'll ask you a few questions and you can explain what happened. Will that be okay?"

Kenma nods, cradling his coffee in his lap. They officer shoots a glance at me and Kenma lays a hand over the one I have resting on his thigh. "He stays though."

The officer nods. "Yes of course." He sets down a recorder and pulls up a chair to sit near the bed facing Kenma. Kenma takes a deep breath and nods at the officer who hits record. "State your name for the record."

"Kenma Kozume."

"What happened the night of the 14th Kenma?"

Kenma takes a shuddery breath and looks over at me. I take his hand, lacing his fingers with mine and squeeze gently. He gives me a weak smile.

"It started when I was up late texting Kuroo..."


	19. That night

-Flash back to the night of the assault-

Kenma POV

I blink in the dark of my room, startled out of my sleep by a loud noise. I had fallen asleep with my phone on my chest, still open to the last message Kuroo had sent me. "I love you kitten..." I smile reading it again before turning off my phone screen. Looking up, another strange noise sounds in the dark. I freeze, listening closely to the sounds of the house when I hear a loud bang. I grab my phone and unlock it, sending a quick message to Kuroo, hoping he will see it. Another bang, and another before a loud crash. There's no way, did someone just kick down my door? I send three more messages to Kuroo in rapid succession, praying he is still awake to see them. I hear loud footsteps down stairs and sit up, throwing off my blankets. I can feel my heartbeat in my throat, and force myself to slow down my breathing, trying to stay silent and listen. Loud heavy footsteps echo downstairs and I hear drawers and cupboards being thrown open. Robbers, it must be robbers. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I lower myself to the cold wood floors as silently as I can. I creep over to my bedroom door and lock it quietly. The chaos down stairs quiets for a moment and a stand frozen at my door. I hear unintelligible shouting, muffled through the floorboards. Suddenly, the sound of loud boot steps resumes, climbing my stairs. I look around, and quickly decide to hide in the closet. I close myself in, and curl up as far back into the closet as I can. I clutch my phone and check my messages, frantically spamming Kuroo, begging him to answer. I hear the boots approach my door and try the door knob, before laughing. I clap my hand over my mouth to stop myself from screaming as they kick the door. I can feel the walls shake with each kick, before I hear the door slam open, wood splintering. The intruders enter my room. I squeeze my eyes shut, tears leaking out and running down my face. I hear them walk around, pulling things off shelves, breaking glass, tearing paper. I imagine my books, my video games, my desk, everything I love being destroyed. And above all, I hear them laughing. Three distinct, gravelly laughs echo in my ears. Suddenly, my closet door is thrown open. I feel a hand on my hair before I can look up.

"Got 'em!" The voice yells. He drags me by my hair and I scream, clawing at his hand. The others seem to lose interest in their destruction and come over to me. The moonlight coming in my windows casts eerie shadows on the forms, silhouetting their bodies and leaving their faces obscured in darkness. One of them throws a cloth bag over my head, plunging me into blindness, surrounded by my own hot breath. I feel hands on my arms holding them behind me. I flash back to school, the bullies, being held still and beat up. I survived that. I can survive this.

"Get his phone." A calm voice demands. I feel my phone ripped from my hand and thrown to the floor, and a solid stomp destroys it. I take a shaky breath before freezing, the feeling of cold metal on my neck.

"Scream and you die faggot." My entire body is shaking as the blade is removed from my neck. I feel the hot breath of someone crouching in front of me, before sensing them stand up. Before I know it, a boot slams into my stomach. I throw myself forward, against the hands holding my arms, retching. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tight, and willing myself to disappear. To pull away, into my mind. Somewhere safe. The pain in my body dulls as I disappear into my head. I begin to go limp in the man's grasp, and he tugs at my arms to get me to stay kneeling. Another blow to my stomach, and a third.

"Why is he so damn calm?" An irritated voice yells. Person three stomps over and a feel a boot collide with the side of my head, knocking me to the ground. I suddenly feel nauseous, as if the room is spinning around me. I can't pull away into my thoughts, I can't even think straight. Sprawled on my bedroom floor I feel hands grab at me, pinning my arms and legs to the floor. Their grip is strong, digging into my skin, I can practically feel the bruises blossoming under their fingers. With one set of hands on my arms, and another set on my legs, the third man steps over me, straddling me. He sits on my hips, and I feel his hand lift my shirt. Memories of my childhood trauma flood me with panic, and I can feel bile rising in my throat.

"Please..." I whisper hoarsely, tears pouring down my cheeks. I feel his hand wrap tightly around my throat, and my head begins to fill with pressure.

"Beg and I'll only make it worse." He hisses. He releases my neck and I gasp in air, my head swimming.

The next moment I feel a pain in my chest, so burning and sharp I can't comprehend it for a moment. I feel cold metal drag down my chest, followed by blossoms of searing pain. I scream before I even realize what I'm doing. His blade drags down my chest over and over, warm blood covering my chest. I scream louder, thrashing against the men holding me down, trying to buck the man off of me, to pull away, anything.

"Shut him up!" The man yells. Hands come away from my arms and I try to sit up, whipping my arms around wildly. That when a stomp comes crashing down on my head, smashing it back down to the floor. Lights explode behind my eyes and the room is suddenly spinning. That's when the second stomp hits, and everything goes black.

-Flash back over-

Kuroo POV

Half way through recounting the story of that night, Kenma cracks, tears streaming over his face. The officer offers to stop the interview but Kenma shakes his head and plunges on. I wrap my arm around him and he leans into me, his body trembling. I take his shaking hands in mine, trying to offer any sort of comfort. My stomach twists, listening to him recount what they did to him, how they held him down. He takes a deep shaking breath.

"And the next thing I know, I woke up here." He whispers, his voice weak. The officer nods, his face gentle.

"And you're the one who found him, yes?" It takes me a moment to realize he's talking to me.

"Yes." I say, my voice is tight and hoarse, emotions thick in my throat.

"And did he still have the bag on his head?"

"No sir. Nothing like that. He was just laying on his bedroom floor, still unconscious." The memory of finding Kenma like that floods back. I can still remember his pale face, the red spreading over his chest, the splintered door. It felt more like a nightmare rather than a memory. The officer nods, and ends the recording. He thanks Kenma for being so strong and leaves the room. Kenma wipes furiously at the tears on his face. I take his hands between mine, and bring my forehead to his.

"You did so well Kitten." The nickname leaves my mouth before I can catch it, but if he minds, he doesn't show it.

"I remember so much more than I thought I did." He says, his voice is still weak. "The laughter, the things they said, the knife. It's like a horror movie." He coughs, his chest shaking while he cries.

"I know. But it's over, you're safe, I'm here with you now. It's just a memory." I say rubbing his back. He shifts closer to me, and turns, straddling my lap. I quickly feel my face turn a bright shade of red. He lays his head on my chest, resting in my lap, and twists his hands into my shirt. I'm startled for a moment by his bold move, usually I initiate any sort of cuddling. I quickly snap out of it and wrap my arms around his back holding him close to me. I rest my nose against the top of his head, taking in the scent of his hair.

"I just need to feel close to you. I'm scared that if you are not here they will come back." He whispers, so quiet I hardly hear him. "I don't think I'll ever be able to sleep alone again."

"You'll never have to." I reassure him.

He stays on my lap until the tears stop, and his breathing returns to normal. He looks up at me from my lap and the sweet innocent look immediately spreads a warm pink across my cheeks. I hesitate but I see his eyes glance down to my lips and decide to take my chances. I place a gentle kiss on his forehead and use my thumb to wipe the tears from his cheeks. He tips his head back just slightly for me and I place another gentle kiss on his lips. No more than a few moments with our lips pressed together and I allow him to break the kiss. He smiles up at me.

"I've waited to do that for so long." I whisper with a smile on my face. "And now I've gotten to do it a bunch. I must be the luckiest man alive."

Kenma looks down but I can see his ears turning red. He rests his head against my chest again and I rub his back gently.

"Kenma..." I start, suddenly very sure of what I'm about to say. He looks up and cocks his head to the side like a confused puppy. I smile and lay my hand on his cheek. "Come live with me."


	20. Kuroos Revenge

Kenma POV  
I stutter for a moment trying to process what he said. It’s true, Kuroo had been living on his own since he was 17. His parents had moved away. Instead of switching schools, and because the team was hoping to go to the international competition, his parents allowed him to get an apartment close to school. They send him enough for rent and food as long as his grades stay up and he continues to play for the team. But I couldn’t possibly take advantage of that, I would only be imposing.   
“I-I couldn’t do that to you.” I say quickly, pulling away from his chest.   
“Not to me, for me. Kenma please understand I will feel so much better knowing you are safe with me. It hurts to know I couldn’t be there for you, you would be doing me a favor.” I scoot off his lap onto the bed and sit cross legged on the bed. He turns to face me, pulling his legs in to sit cross legged as well.  
“I’m serious Kenma.” He reaches out and lays his hands on my knees.   
“What would I tell my dad?” I ask, trying to find a way to explain moving in with my supposed best friend.  
Kuroo looks down and mutters to himself, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh yeah. Your dad.”  
“Yeah?” I ask. What is he hiding? This is his guilty look and I know it. “What?”  
”Your dad. He knows.” Kuroo says quietly, his eyes on the floor.  
“Knows? Knows what? You don’t mean...us?” I ask, trying to comprehend how he knew. I hadn’t even been sure of the depth of our relationship until a few days ago. How in the world could dad have figured it out?  
“He said he saw the way we looked at each other.” Kuroo mutters, his ears turning red. “Or more specifically, how I look at you.”  
A heat rises to my ears as I imagine my dad catching Kuroo staring at me lovingly. “Oh...and did he, you know, take it well?” I ask, watching Kuroo intently for any chance that he is lying. But instead, he looks up with a smile and a warmth to his words.  
“He invited me to be part of the family.” Kuroo says excitedly. I can feel a massive weight beginning to lift from my shoulders. Dad knows, and he is okay with it. I don’t notice the tear on my cheek until Kuroo gently wipes it away with his thumb “You’re crying...” He says, a note of concern in his voice.  
“I seem to do that a lot recently.” I joke, sniffing and rubbing away the tears with the back of my hand. “I’m happy.” I reassure him.   
“Then that means, you’ll do it?” He asks expectantly, his eyes lighting up at the possibility.   
“Well...” I try to go over the options in my head. Going home to my bed room, the door no longer able to close, the wood cracked. My belongings destroyed, entire shelves left empty, the room feeling abandoned. I try to imagine closing my eyes, falling asleep in the darkness, knowing those people are still out there, walking free. The red stain of my own blood dried on my floor. I shiver and realize I don’t have much of an option at all. I don’t think I can ever sleep in that room again, in fear of waking up to those horrendous laughs.  
“Okay. I’ll move in with you.” 

Kuroo POV

Kenma had fallen asleep not long after lunch, so I left a note for him and headed back out into the cold day. The roads were quiet as I headed back down the street. I clenched my fists to still my shaking hands. I knew what I had to go do, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t reluctant. His words echo in my head.   
"Oh just some boys I met from a different school. Pretty tough, guess they knew Kenma as a kid. Anyways I don't owe you answers so go stumble back to the hospital before you freeze."  
How could Oikawa possibly have known Kenma was in the hospital? None of my friends would have told him. Kenma couldn’t have told him. He has to know something he shouldn’t. Oikawa could be cunning, but he wasn’t evil, so what the hell did he do?  
I take a deep shaky breath and steady myself on the front door step. Kenma will be furious when he finds out what I’m doing today, but for now I push that into the back of my mind. I know what I need to do. I grit my teeth and clench my fists, steeling my resolve before finally pounding on the door. I wait a moment in anxious silence before I see the door knob turn. The door opens wide enough to see Oikawa, standing leisurely in the doorway, sweatpants low on his waist, his hair a mess.   
“Kuroo. What do you want?” He asks, his tone annoyed already. Without a word I step forward and slam my forearm into the front door, throwing it all the way open. Oikawa yelps in surprise stepping back. Without giving him a second to think, I grab his bare neck and with the other hand on his chest, I slam him against the hallway wall. His eyes go wide, and his hands wrap around my wrist at his neck. “The fuck-”  
“Tell me what you did.” I growl, my voice low and menacing.   
“I don't know what you’re-”  
“You knew Kenma was in the hospital. So tell me what you did.”   
“I didn’t do-”   
I cut him off by tightening my grip on his throat. He digs his nails into my wrist but I ignore the blood bubbling at the skin. I pull him away from the wall a few inches and slam his head back against the wall. He grunts in pain.   
“Don’t fuck with me. Tell me what you know.” I keep my voice low, but powerful.   
“I never touched Kenma. I asked some dudes who knew him in elementary school to scare him, maybe rough him up. I was pissed at you guys. So what.”  
“So what??” I practically yell. “DO you have any idea what they did??”  
“I don’t really care! A little property damage and a black eye is hardly worth you coming in here and-”  
“Kuroo?” Iwaizumi’s voice comes from stairs and startles me. I look over and in the moment it catches me off guard, Oikawa takes his chance. Just as I turn back to look at him, he shoves off the wall and smashes his head into my face. I feel my nose crack and cry out in pain. Tears well in my eyes and I step back, holding my face in pain.  
“Fuck out of here Kuroo a little prank is no reason to lose you’re anger managament issues.” Oikawa says, rubbing his neck, still red from my grip. I grunt and step forward, throwing a closed fist, connecting hard with his jaw. His head snaps to the left and he stumbles back, smashing into the wall.  
“They almost killed him!” I practically scream at him. Hy hand throbs in pain and the thought that I might have broken his jaw passes through my head. “He was bleeding out! They cut him open, broke ribs, Oikawa you dumb bastard they could have killed him!”   
“Bullshit.” Oikawa mutters holding his jaw, but a look of panic is obvious in his eyes.   
“Ask you’re fucking would be assasins. They could have killed him.” I repeat, calmer this time.  
“Get out.” Oikawa glares at me. He stands up straight and yells. “Get out Bastard!” He lunges at me but I narrowly dodge him and throw my hands up, slowly backing out to the front door.   
“I’m only leaving so I can get this done legally. I want to see you rot for this.”   
“For what?” Oikawa yells after me. “I didn’t do shit! You have nothing on me.” I turn away from the house and start back towards the hospital, and hear the door slam behind me.   
I walk quickly towards the hospital, wiping away blood from my face with my sleeve, staining my clothes red. My nose drips blood profusely, definitely broken. It had been years since I last got my nose broken, and Kenma had burst into tears the moment he saw me dripping blood back then. I have to get this cleaned up before I see him, he doesn’t need anymore stress at this point. My fist throbs in pain, my knuckles will definitely be bruised by tomorrow. None of that matters, I just need to get to the cops, tell them what I know, get them to do something. I can do this the right way without getting in trouble. Well, anymore trouble than I’m about to be. I pull my hand away from my nose, my sleeve covered in my own blood. Kenma is going to be furious with me, I just hope he isn’t too upset about it. I keep the back of my sleeve pressed against my nose and pick up the pace, eager to get back before Kenma wakes up. I reach for my phone when I realize it isn’t in my pocket.   
“Shit.” I mutter to myself. I turn around, looking around wondering if it fell. If I dropped it at Oikawas it’s too late, it’s probably in pieces. I can’t afford a new phone right now. I walk back down the sidewalk and scan the ground hoping to see it, following the wet trail of my own blood. I sigh and am about to give up when something makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. A dark van drives past, I only notice it because it has probably driven past me four times. This time though it slows to a stop on the street beside me. I face it, cautiously watching the tinted windows. The side door swings open and a masked figure jumps out, rushing at me. I throw my hands up and attempt to side step him, when I feel him dig something into my side. I realise what it is in a panic, right before the zapping sound of the taser rings out. I scream, my muscles convulsing, and collapse to the sidewalk.


	21. Tied Up

Kuroo’s POV  
The man who tazed me had quickly blindfolded me and dragged me into the van. Although he had released the trigger, the man kept the prongs of the taser pressed firmly to my side. The man is sitting on my back, keeping my chest pressed to the floor of the van as it drives away.   
“Don’t move.” He demands. I feel his weight shift as he grabs my hands, trying to bind them behind my back. I take a deep breath as his weight shifts to one side and in one strong push I buck him off of me. Before I can even get to my knees I feel the prongs of the taser dig into my side. Once again the loud zapping sounds as my entire body constricts. I scream, in a type of pain I’ve never felt before. He pulls it away and my muscles relax. I gasp for air as he finishes tying my hands behind my back. I feel a boot press into back and the man leans in close to my ear.   
“Try it again, I dare you.” He says.  
I clench my teeth, but I don't try to get up again, my muscles still trembling from the shock.  
“Now, Kuroo...” The man says, sounding pleased with himself. “Here’s my problem with you. You want to know too much. You had no reason coming out here today. You coulda stayed with the fag in the hospital and we wouldn’tve had to do anything. Now you're out here causin us problems. Here’s my advice. Stop asking questions, and we can leave all of this behind us.”  
“Suck my dick.” I mutter to the floor of the van.  
“See, but I’m no fag like you so I’d rather not.” He says, twisting the prongs in my side. I flinch, expecting another shock, but the van rumbles to a stop. “Now, last time I’m saying this. Stop looking into this little accident, or the next time you end up here will be you’re last.” The van hardly rumbles to a stop when he zaps me one last time, and shoves me, muscles still twitching, out of the van and onto the ground outside. I hear the van rumble away, leaving me in silence, surrounded by the cold wind. I lay my head against the dirt below me and use it to shove the blind fold off my eyes. I sit up and look around. How original, the Hiroka Cemetery, one of the small, poorly kept cemeteries around here. My nose has stopped bleeding, dried blood now crusted to my face. I have no way to call anyone, even If I did my hands are still firmly tied behind my back. So instead I struggle to my feet and take a deep breath. I know this city, I can walk to the hospital within 30 minutes, and if I get lucky someone will see me, bloody and bound up, and maybe offer some help. Kenma is going to be furious.   
20 minutes into the horrid walk back to the hospital, more than a few cars have driven past me, and none spared me a passing glance. I don't play the victim part very well as it is, being as tall and well built as I am people assume I am the one hurting others. Regardless I trudge on, my hands going numb from cold and the tight restraints, my legs aching from the walk after being tackled.   
I reach the hospital and the automatic doors slide open breathlessly for me. I can see Akaashi pacing worriedly by the front desk, with none other than my Kenma himself, sitting in a wheelchair, worriedly waiting for me I'm sure. I feel tears of relief well in my eyes but I force them back. I hear the lady at the front desk call out to me, and she yells something about security, but my gaze is locked with Kenmas golden eyes. Tears roll down his cheeks when he sees me and I stumble over to him as quickly as I can, still numb from cold. I long to embrace him but with my arms bound with rope behind me that isn't an option. Instead I rush to him and drop to my knees with a hard thud, landing right at his feet. I lay my head down in his startled lap and I allow a few tears to leak from my eyes. He wraps his arms around me as I hear akaashi and the nurse calling over the hospital police, frantic with questions. For just a moment I don't Have the energy to care about anything besides the warm legs my cheek is resting on, and Kenmas soft voice whispering to me.  
"I was so worried...I knew something bad...it's okay...I'm glad you're here..." he mutters a flurry of thoughts to himself as I allow Akaashi to kneel behind me and begin to work at the ropes. He finally manages to undo the restraints and I throw my arms around Kenmas waist, my hands shaking uncontrollably as reality settles in around me. Everything about Kenmas attack had just gotten much much worse.  
10 minutes later I sit on the edge of a hospital bed while a nurse carefully cleans the blood off of my face, neck and hands. My bloodstained clothes had been taken and bagged for police, leaving me in the bleak white hospital clothes I was given. Kenma sits silently beside me, his knee pressed against mine, his hand resting protectively on my leg, as if he is sure if he blinks I'll disappear again. A sharp knock on the door is followed by a police officer stepping into the room, the same one who took Kenmas statement not long ago. The nurse looks up angrily.   
“Can my patient not have five minutes alone? Look at this boy, his nose is clearly broken, he is still covered in blood, and you come looking for answers.”  
The officer raises his hands in a submitting manner. “My apologies ma'am, we just need to ask him a few questions while it is still fresh in his mind. If that is okay?”  
She stands up, collecting the stuff she had been using to clean my face. She leaves me a wet washcloth to continue dabbing at my nose with, and leaves the room. I hold the wash cloth with one hand, and take Kenmas hand with my other. He looks shaken, he has hardly said a word since I got back.   
“Kuroo, right? Kuroo....” The cop looks to me for help.  
“Tetsurou. Kuroo Tetsurou.” I finished for him.   
“Yes. Can you explain what happened please? From the beginning.”   
“I was walking back to the hospital, when a van pulled over next to me.”  
“Details please, anything you remember.”  
I sigh. “Black van, tinted windows. Sliding side doors, that where a guy jumped out and rushed me.” I lift up my shirt showing the burn dots across my side, where the taser had marked me. I sum up how he got me into the van, tied me up, and tossed me at the cemetery.  
The officer sighs, tapping at his notepad. “Well without any real leads as to who is attacking you both-”  
“Wait, I think I do have a lead.” Both Kenma and the officer look at at me in surprise. “Well I uh, I went to go visit a guy me and Kenma both know, uh, Oikawa Tooru. He knew about Kenma being in the hospital when no one had told him, and he admitted to hiring some guys to “prank” Kenma. He uh, he is the one who broke my nose actually.”  
“He attacked you unprovoked?” The officer asks, concern etched on his face.   
“Well... I may have also hit him, I don’t really know how it all started.” I lie, trying not to dig myself too deep of a hole.   
“Interesting. We will send some officers to his house. If you remember anything else give me a call.”   
“Will do sir.” The officer leaves, shutting the door behind him.   
We sit in silence for a moment before I open my mouth, daring to speak. “Kenma look...”  
“He knew?” Kenma looks at me, his face calm but his eyes give away the fear and betrayal he must be feeling.   
“Yeah, Oikawa knew you were hurt. But he also seemed genuinely surprised that you were seriously hurt. I don’t think he meant for it to go this far.”  
“But the fact that he did this at all...”  
“I know.”   
“But...” He looks up at me, concern replacing the fear on his face. “You are okay?”   
I nod, allowing him to reach up and brush his fingers tentatively through my hair. It’s a calming feeling, and something new to me. Kenma has never been one to reach out and initiate touch, so I stay quiet as he trails his fingers down my cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over my already swelling black eye. I lean my head slightly into his touch relishing the feeling. He lays a hand on mine, taking the washcloth from me. “May I?” He asks gently. I nod and he takes the warm washcloth from me.I turn away from the edge of the bed to face him, and watch as he tentatively dabs at the blood skill staining my chin. I raise my head up, so he can wipe my neck where trails of blood have dried to my skin. Satisfied, he places the washcloth aside, and I watch silently as he contemplates his next move, before hesitantly reaching for the hem of my shirt. I lift my arm so he can pull up the fabric, inspecting the burn marks I had showed the officer. He brushes his fingers gingerly down my side, like he is worried any touch will cause me pain. “Does it hurt?”   
I shrug calmly. “It did, but I’m okay now.”  
He nods and drops my shirt, seemingly satisfied, and holds out his hands to me. I sigh, and smile as I place my hands in his. Memories of him doing this when we were kids suddenly rush over me. Him worriedly inspecting every injury, always making sure I was really okay, wrapping my knuckles in bandaids when I punched walls too hard. He turns my hands over in his, taking in the purple bruises along my right knuckles. He brings my hand up to his face, and places a gentle kiss on my knuckles, sending an electric shiver up my arm. I blush deeply and smile at him.  
“I was really worried about you.” He says, not looking up from my hand.  
I take my hand back from him and place it on his cheek, leaning forward to place a kiss on his forehead. “I know, I’m sorry.”  
“But I’m not upset with you, so you don’t have to say sorry.” He looks up this time. “I know you were trying to find out what happened. Just next time, talk to me, and I’ll help if I can. You don’t have to protect me all by yourself now Kuroo. I want to be here for you like you always are for me. That’s what boyfriends are for, right?”  
I feel a warmth rush through my body at his words and I can’t help myself. I stoop forward, taking his chin and pressing our lips together. We break apart after a moment and I rest our foreheads together, just happy to be with him.   
“Thank you kitten.”


	22. Raven Hair Demon

Kuroos POV   
I scoot my legs off the edge of the bed slowly, careful not to disturb the sleeping form curled up beside me. I rub my eyes and glance at the clock. 4am. I’ve been laying in bed wide awake for hours. All I can think about is the attack. What I could have done better, how I should have dodged or hit or screamed, playing the scene out like a video game. I keep telling myself, next time I’ll be ready. They won’t catch me off guard. If only I grabbed his wrist, kicked the taser away, anything. I see the scene in my head every time I close my eyes, so sleep has managed to elude me all night. I lift my hand, carefully touching the burn marks on my side from the prongs of the taser. They hurt, a dull constant ache, despite what I told Kenma. Not to mention of course the throbbing of my nose, but I’ve broken my nose before. It’s nothing I can’t handle. I look over at Kenma, his face calm and relaxed in his sleep, unlike the constant worry that covers his expressions when he is awake. This attack, it was nothing compared to what he endured. And yet here he lays, sleeping peacefully with head trauma and scars on his chest, and I’m sitting awake with a broken nose. I push myself off the bed and walk over to the ensuite bathroom, closing the door behind me as quietly as I can. I stand myself in front of the mirror at the sink, inspecting my topless form. Muscles still hard from volleyball, skin tan from the sun. That what everyone sees, what the guys say they are jealous of, what the girls say they think is hot. It’s not what I see. I see the acne that dots my shoulders, I see the scars from old fights, with other people, and with myself. I see my untamable bed head, my thin eyebrows, my lopsided smile, my imperfections. Never thin enough or strong enough or brave enough, better, I have to be better.   
“Kuroo?”   
I practically jump out of my skin and stumble backward into the wall. Kenma stands in the bathroom door way, leaning on the wall to support his sore ankle.   
“What, why are you awake, and out of bed, your ankle-“  
He walks forward, limping slightly and I quickly step forward to help support him. He grabs my arms, steadying himself before laying his head on my chest.   
“Kenma?”  
“You’re crying.” He says, looking up at me. He reaches up and brushes tears off my cheeks I didn’t notice were there.   
“I was, I just, I’m not sure-“   
“It’s okay to be crying.” He says. “You were hurt Kuroo.”  
“Ha! Hardly! I’m fine I’ve had a broken nose before! Besides I have no right to complain you were seriously hurt. I got let off easy honestly.”  
“Don’t compare what happened to us. It doesn’t matter.” He says quietly, stepping back from me and leaning on the sink.   
“It absolutely matters! It would be stupid of me to complain to you about a damn black eye when you have stitches in your head!”  
“Kuroo don’t be ridiculous me being hurt doesn’t make your attack any less scary. You were kidnapped.”  
“For like ten minutes. You were attacked in your own home.”  
“I know what happened to me Kuroo. But don’t compare us.”   
“But what happened to you was so horrible and this just seems...” I’m cut off by Kenmas strong glare.   
“Does a point slammed by the ace count more than a point scored because the other team flubbed a serve?” He stands quietly waiting for my answer.   
“Well...”  
“Does it? Because if you think so, you're just as thick headed as Shoto.”   
I blink, taken aback by bluntness. "No, it doesn't."  
“No it doesn’t.” He repeats my words back at me. “A point is a point. A trauma is a trauma. Kuroo you are allowed to be scared. You preach to be about allowing myself to be weak, to feel fear, to express my emotions. When is the last time you really admitted to yourself how you are? When is the last time you looked in the mirror and told yourself the truth! You don’t have to be Kuroo the unshakable captain! You can just be Kuroo, my boyfriend, and that’s enough! You have always been enough for me, you don’t have to keep pushing yourself to be the strong one, the brave one, I don't need that! I just...” Kenma has worked himself up, his eyes wide, almost shouting at me when he trails off suddenly.  
“Kenma I-” I’m on the verge of another apology when I see his eyes unfocus a bit. They seem to roll back, a split second before his knees buckle under him. I lunge forward, grabbing his limp body in my arms before he hits the bathroom floor. I stand, scooping my arms under him and carry him back to the bed. He is blinking back into consciousness before I have even set him down on the bed.   
“Ugh, my head. Kuroo what-”  
“No more. No more talking. You passed out because you worked yourself up over me. I’m sorry. I should go get your doctor.”  
“Please don’t, I just want to sleep.” He mutters, seemingly back to his quiet self. “I feel fine.”  
“Are you sure?” I say, hesitantly looking to the door. He grabs my wrist lightly and tugs me towards the bed. I lay down, and he curls himself into my chest.   
“Boyfriends...” He whispers quietly. I blush, admiring how cute he is when he is like this. I run my hands through his hair, as he drifts back to sleep, but still I lay awake, his words tumbling through my head. Just Kuroo. Is that really enough?

I groan, rolling over to see Kenma, laying awake inches from my face. I had fallen asleep at some point after we talked last night. Sunlight streams in the hospital blinds. I sit up, and gingerly touch my bruised nose.  
“It doesn’t look that bad.” Kenma says quietly, staring up at me from the pillow.   
“It doesn’t feel horrible either.” I stretch my arms up and wince suddenly, grabbing my side. Kenma lifts my hand to inspect the multiple bright red dots on my side from the stun gun. Most have turned into scabs, but some are still tender pink flesh, burnt but not scabbed over. I cringe at the sight of them, remembering the feeling of my body convulsing. I shake my head and kenma sits up, leaning against me.   
“Sorry I yelled last night.” He mutters under his breath, his cheeks pink. I lift his chin and place a gentle kiss on his lips, savoring my reality of being with him.   
“I don’t mind. You were expressing yourself, just don’t get yourself so worked up that you pass out again.”  
I watch as his ears turn red and he nods quietly, embarrassed about last night's incident. A knock on the door catches our attention and I swing my legs off the side of the bed. “Hello?” I call out, pulling on the shirt I left by the bed. A nurse pokes her head in.  
“Pardon me Kuroo Tetsurou and Kenma Kozume? You two have a visitor if that is okay.”  
I look over as Kenma rubs his eyes, shrugging. “Probably someone from the team.” He mutters and nods.   
“Okay, yeah they can come in.” I answer. The nurse nods and her head disappears before the door swings open. I shake my head, and try to smooth down my violent bed head when I hear Kenmas breath catch. I look up, wondering who could garner a reaction like that when I meet the dark brown eyes of none other than Tooru himself. 

Kenma POV  
I watch the door swing open as Kuroo runs hands through his hair. My breath catches in my throat when I see Oikawa step into the room. He looks nervous, and I can see a purple bruise on his jaw, likely from Kuroos fist the day before. Kuroo lunges off the bed before I can even react to try and stop him. The door shuts behind Oikawa just in time for Kuroo to slam him up against it.  
“Some nerve you have coming here!” Kuroo growls. Fear is written across Oikawa’s face and I can’t help but feel something is really wrong.   
“Kuroo wait I-” I yelp in fear as Kuroo lands a hard hit on Oikawa, the same side of his jaw that’s already bruised up. Oikawa screeches, throwing his hands up trying to protect himself.  
“Kuroo stop!” I yell. I can hear the nurse yelling outside, calling for security. I scramble to get off the bed and run over as Kuroo lands another harsh blow against oikawa's arms protecting his face. Kuroo pulls back to throw another punch when I grab onto his arm. The world freezes for a moment, flashbacks to elementary school, Kuroo ruthlessly beating up the bullies who hurt me, me trying to stop him. Kuroo throws his arm back shaking me off and I stumble to the floor. His head whips around to glare at me. I can see it in his eyes, the murderous revenge, the rage I saw that day. The raven haired demon I feared and admired so much. He sees me on the floor and I see his rage crack and fall away, concern replacing it. He looks between Oikawa and I before abandoning the shaken Tooru to approach me. He reaches out quickly to help me up, but I see that flash of a demon, the rage in his eyes, and I flinch away from his touch, fear bubbling in my stomach. I watch his eyes grow wide, his hands dropping to his side in realization. I regret flinching away, I regret fearing him, but at that moment security bursts in. Kuroo and Oikawa are both grabbed by large men in uniform, and a nurse helps me get to my feet. I look at Kuroo, desperate to say something but his head is dropped low, hair obscuring his eyes. I can feel the crack in his heart, his pain in hurting me, scarring me, and I go silent instead, watching him be led away. The door closes with a thud, and I am left alone in the aching void without him.


End file.
